'If music be the food of love, play on.'
Shakespeare wasn't far wrong when he used those words to exemplify the role music has to play in our universal life and loves - and let's be honest, nowhere is it more important than on your wedding day when you are surrounded by your friends, family and (hopefully) favourite songs. Getting the music just right on your special day is crucial (paramount, one might say) to enhancing your wedding and lifting it to a whole new level - I'm mean, have you ever been to a wedding without a carefully curated soundtrack or at least one that hasn't resulted in a conga or imitation Irish dancing? Nope, didn't think so.
Kirstin Prisk
It's not just the lovey-dovey stuff I'm talking about here; it's all those dancefloor fillers, church music and, dare we say it, 'karaoke' enthusiasts that makes the day what it is: a time to let your hair down, pull some cringe-inducing dance moves and, quite simply, enjoy the music. Of course, that's not to negate the pivotal 'first dance' track, which gives you an insight into what that couple, you think you know so well, are really like. Whether it's Corinne Bailey Rae, Stevie Wonder or something a bit more big-band, that opener, whether you know it or not, sets the tone for the rest of the evening - so the pressure is on to get it right. For many, it's an easy decision because they possess the one thing all couples want: the ever elusive 'our song'. We're not talking about the similarly named Elton John hit 'Your Song' (although, it's certainly not a bad option) but something that has a significant poignancy for the couple in question, whether it be 'You Look Wonderful Tonight' or perhaps more unusually 'Baby Got Back'... sing along now folks: 'I. Like. Big. Butts. And I cannot lie'. Ahem.
Kirstin Prisk
You may be thinking, 'Well 'duh', isn't that the point of a first dance song?' And you'd be right. But in recent years we seem to have fallen off the well-trodden path and veered into the realms of said couple (plus their bridal party entourage) using this moment to give us guests something of a performance piece. You know the drill: soppy song begins as per usual, some slow dancing ensues and then wham! All hell breaks loose on the dance floor with a bombardment of choreographed moves that would put Patrick Swayze to shame and leaves the rest of us standing on the sidelines looking on bereft. Don't get me wrong, these performances can often be a triumph; but be warned, they're not for everyone so my advice would be to proceed with caution.
That's not to say a little forced participation can't be a good thing, but sometimes people require some warming up (translation: 'I can't dance without consuming a least a bottle of wine beforehand; come back to me at the end of the night') - and that's fine. In fact, the final song can often be more emotional that the first (probably something to do with the liquor) and is a great way for the whole party to come together as a group and not just pockets of people who know each other dancing in well-formed cliques. 'All You Need Is Love' is one such song that permeated a recent wedding I attended and, cliches aside, it became the official soundtrack for the entire day due to its appearance at the wedding breakfast, before and after the speeches, once during the disco and again at the end of the night. By the time it came to turfing everyone out, we were one big happy family who continued to sing it at the top of our lungs, even when the hotel manager was physically forcing us out of the room.
Travers and Brown
The ceremony itself is also prime fodder now for less traditional offerings - forget the wedding march and think more along the lines of the theme from 'Superman' or 'Up'. I have first-hand guest experience of each and, yes, I bawled at both. That's not to negate the more classical choices too - in fact, my husband and I walked down the aisle to Handel's 'The Arrival of the Queen of Sheba' blasting out of the church organ and I wouldn't have had it any other way. It's a personal choice and one that should be taken with care; after all, we spend enough money and time on everything else, so why not get the ceremonial music right as well, eh?
Ben Selway
The other dilemma that often stumps the bride and groom is whether to go down the live music route or stick to a good old-fashioned DJ. In my opinion, a bit of both covers all bases and will satisfy the wildly varying age groups attending your reception - Granny won't appreciate the chart music but will love you for hiring someone who knows the words and chords to any music hall classic. All of which leads us nicely onto your general DJ selection; the clue is in the sentence - keep it general or you run the risk of alienating half your guests. Remember, this is not an opportunity to reveal your love for heavy metal, nor should it be geared towards a rave party for your friends. If in doubt (and heed this suggestion seriously), put MJ on the spinner and there won't be a single butt left on those seats. Aside from breaking up the '90s Britpop with Bob (Marley not Dylan - too depressing) and ensuring there's a little something for everyone (and yes, that might even mean some country!), your main aim is to create an environment that makes each and every one of your guests comfortable. An impossible feat, you might say, but cheesy pop does wonders to pacify the masses and, really, what is a wedding without Dolly ('9 to 5' and 'Islands in the Stream' always go down a treat), 'Cotton-Eyed Joe' (you know you love it really) and a decent dose of 'Rock the Boat' (people love an excuse to get down and dirty... literally).
Sarah Lauren
If you're really averse to the cheesy pop scenario then there are other options that err on the, shall we say, classier side - and it does not have to involve a full-blown Sinatra impersonator. Swing bands are big business these days and can add a sophisticated touch to your party. While they will undoubtedly play a range of classics (Glenn Miller, eat your heart out), they are likely to put a modern spin on contemporary tracks such as Daft Punk's 'Get Lucky'.
And let's not forget about the dreaded waiting around interim that sits between the ceremony and wedding breakfast. Apart from being prime drinking time (not always a good thing), it can often be the dullest part of the day for your guests as they patiently wait for you to get those all important official photograph sessions out of the way - a perfect time then for some mid-afternoon entertainment. It's vital that your family and friends don't peak too soon, of course, so go for something a little more laidback; think gentle jazz or even some unobtrusive folk (sets the mood without inducing a full-on dance fest or sing-song and keeps the throng from getting too restless).
See, all this time you thought the music was a mere afterthought to everything else, when, in reality, your wedding party success could hinge on whether you hire the right DJ. Best get back to the drawing board then if you've only planned as far as the first dance.
Travers and Brown
ROCK DJ
Wedding DJ Nigel Pengelly shares some pointers for a groove-tastic do
As a wedding DJ, a married man, and someone who has been a guest at many weddings, I'd say I've seen almost every wedding reception DJ trick and mishap in the book. I say almost because I've never seen a speaker catch fire, although I once saw a DJ pull out an inflatable sex doll full of helium and launch it at the bride and groom. Apparently the best man said it would be funny; it wasn't...
So, as a DJ, here are a few tips when organising the tunes for your wedding reception.
Get a DJ. More and more people are hiring a PA and lights, and plugging in iPods - which is fine. However, there needs to be someone in 'charge' of the music. Otherwise it descends into a free-for-all and someone will invariably play Pink Floyd.
Remember the crowd. Don't specify a Motown/techno (etc.) wedding as not everyone wants that. It's always a little bit of everything for everyone.
Unless you're going to do a routine, make sure the first dance is something that everyone can join in with. I once had to play a track by The Pogues for the first dance, which was interesting.
Pick a second tune. This is the tune that gets everyone grooving together. At a friend's wedding, as the first dance faded, Gary Numan's 'Cars' came through the PA - possibly the most undanceable song I've ever heard at a wedding.
Don't ask every guest to pick a song for the playlist; they won't all get played and Uncle Kurt will be most upset when he doesn't hear 'Ace of Spades'.
List songs you definitely don't want. I once played a song that was played at the recent funeral of the bride's mother - how was I to know?
Tell the DJ to start off quietly and build it up. Guests will still be arriving when the DJ starts and will want to chat, not face a wall of sound.
Put the DJ somewhere where people can dance. On several occasions, I've been told to set up in a side room away from the bar, food and seating areas; the dancefloor was remarkably empty all night.
Do you want a DJ to talk/tell jokes/introduce songs? Thought not.
Beware songs with explicit lyrics. Often radio edits are wedding friendly - but the full versions can be a tad blue (like 'Thrift Shop' by Macklemore and Sak Noel's 'Loca People').
Finally, end on a high note. Set a finish time and stick with it (perhaps run a few tunes over). I've seen so many weddings drag on with a final four on the floor, while everybody else drifts off or drifts asleep.
Feed the DJ and water him. A happy DJ makes a happy wedding.
www.cornwalleventscompany.co.uk
Alan Law
THE SOUNDTRACK OF OUR LIVES
We asked our Facebook and Twitter followers how their music choices made their day. Here are some favourites...
"I walked into our ceremony to 'I'm In Love' by Audio Bullys and walked out to 'Feel So Close' by Calvin Harris. Our first dance was 'Hard to Beat' by Hard-Fi. All three songs worked perfectly for each moment, and they're all part of our relationship and mean a lot to us." Fran
"We got married in a church and chose one hymn and two songs: 'Shining Light' by Ash and 'Viva La Vida' by Coldplay, which the organist learnt to play and all our guests sang. It was so different and our guests still talk about it now." Mia
"I was asked to play 'International You Day' by a bride and groom once. It had me close to tears." AJ
"Our first dance was 'I Finally Found Someone' by Bryan Adams and Barbara Streisand. I walked into the ceremony to 'Sweet Child O' Mine' by Guns N' Roses covered by Vitamin String Quartet and we walked out to the Vitamin String Quartet cover of '(Everything I Do) I Do It For You' by Bryan Adams." Faye
"Amongst other great tunes throughout the day, we had an 'All You Need is Love' singalong while we signed the register! The best man played the ukulele and a friend played the guitar plus kazoos for the introduction. Epic!" Kate
Alan Law
words Aine Carlin
Copyright Wed magazine 2014
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