Choosing a smaller wedding celebration can mean some of the more traditional elements of a wedding are a little redundant or might seem too over the top. Doing away with formality can also be a good way to cut costs if you're after a more low-key affair, but you might be concerned about your big day not feeling enough like a wedding. We look at some of the main traditions, and consider where you should stick to tradition, and what you can do away with. As always, go with your gut and remember there are no right or wrong answers!
The dress
This is a big one. Wedding dress shopping ' a whole day sweeping around in the most gorgeous dresses you've ever set eyes upon and fulfilling all your princess dreams in one go ' is not something any bride-to-be is going to give up lightly. Saying that, a bride doesn't have to be in a floor-sweeping or form-fitting number. There are hundreds of bridal options out there, including jumpsuits, high-low skirts, hot pants, tuxedos and more. Small weddings, however, can still be traditional, so even if you're eloping, you can splash out on the gown of your dreams. If you're organising various celebrations as part of a wedding weekend, you can always change up your bridal style depending on the event: traditional for the reception, retro for the tea party, rock 'n' roll for the barbecue and swimwear for the next day's beach cricket!
Bouquet
There aren't many occasions in life when you can carry a beautiful, blowsy, aromatic bundle with you all day while people ooh and ahh, and the air around you is dreamily scented. Bouquets are beautiful symbols of bridal style so you'll truly feel like a bride clutching one. But that's not to say you can't do your big day without one. Bouquets might look out of place if you go for non-traditional attire or you may feel restricted if you're having a raucous city bash tearing around town. There are cute alternatives out there like felt bouquets, origami paper bouquets, bead bouquets and even bouquets made of brooches.
Veil
Short and sweet, vintage birdcage, the perfect puddle or a royally extravagant train ' a veil can help you nail your bridal style beautifully. And who wouldn't feel just a little bit coy tucked behind bridal illusion tulle or enjoy a seriously spotlight-stealing entrance in front of metres of Spanish lace? Veils bring that wow factor but can lead to an addition of other accessories, too, so you may find a veil means other traditions start creeping in (hello something blue and tin cans tied to the back of your car) meaning your styled-back do is suddenly becoming bigger and more overtly bridal.
Bridesmaids
Sharing your special moment with your best girls is a once-in-a-lifetime event and choosing dresses together should be a memorable bonding experience. However, depending on how many girls you have, dresses and accessories can become expensive, so if your small do is due to budget constraints, you might have to rethink the maids and do without. Alternatively, scale down how many you have ' or one or two flower girls may be a more low-key option in terms of space and budget.
Rings
The exchange of wedding rings symbolises your marriage and union in a beautiful way, and, of course, gives you something real and tangible to treasure long after the ceremony is over. But wedding rings are not essential and, although typically the bride will wear one, grooms can opt for a band or simply go without. Low-key ceremonies can miss the exchanging of rings altogether, as long as your officiate is informed in advance.
Being given away
It's a somewhat outdated idea that brides are passed from father to husband and ' although it can still be an intimate and family-orientated part of many weddings ' there's nowhere in the rulebook that says this has to happen. You only need to look at Meghan Markle's wedding to Prince Harry as inspiration for taking centre stage and walking down the aisle by yourself. If your venue doesn't lend itself to having an aisle, you can walk in alone, together or perhaps be ready and waiting when your guests take their seats.
Cake
Not only can a wedding cake be a delicious stack of your favourite flavours, it's a wonderful way to toast the day, and tradition says you could keep the top tier for your first wedding anniversary or the christening of your first born. However, if you only have a handful of guests, or just two witnesses, there won't be many mouths to feed. Alternative options include asking your cake maker for cupcakes instead of a single creation so you can limit the number of treats and transport them and share them with friends and family later. Or perhaps go for a scaled down version of your dream cake.
Throwing the bouquet
Tradition says the bride used to throw the bouquet to distract her guests while she hot-footed it off with her new husband! Bouquets are also meant to pass on good fortune to others. So if you fancy sharing some of your bridal buzz with your nearest and dearest, then a floral throw might be the way to go. But if you're having a seriously bijou bash, bear in mind that bouquet bowling is probably best suited to bigger spaces and larger crowds.
Gift list
Gift lists are a great way of ensuring your guests can treat you to something relevant, meaningful and useful at the start of your married life together. However, a smaller celebration might mean there's less need for a gift list as there's less chance of any duplicate gifts.
Honeymoon
Tradition or not, most couples aren't going to give up their chance to lie on sun-drenched shores, climb mountainous peaks or dive the world's oceans, whatever the size of their celebration. In fact, if you've got the travel bug and you want to go big, that can be a reason to scale down the big day. Bon voyage!
Words Elizabeth Chester
