Whether you're a bride who spent her formative years imagining the classic white wedding, a scrapbook filled with ideas and images, or a proud tomboy new to nuptial planning - the dress is where fantasies begin to turn into reality.
Blank canvas
But is everyone expected to walk into a boutique with preferred designers and strong opinions on lace embellishments? What of those brides to be who have genuinely no idea what they want?
"These are the best type of brides!" exclaims Elaine Rawlings of County Cream (countycreambridalhouse.co.uk). "It gives us a blank canvas to work with. We always ask what sort of wedding they are planning in terms of location, venue and styling, i.e. country, vintage, beach and the like. We can build a picture of the big day, and then pick out dresses accordingly".
Your entourage
Understandably, brides will seek extra input from the people they trust. But how to go about it? Flanked by solo mum, or with full bridal party in tow?
It might sound like lots of fun to arrive in convoy, a full entourage ready to lavish you with compliments, but Vicky Wood of The Wedding Company (wedding-company-cornwall.co.uk) urges caution when considering who to bring along. "Mum, sister, bridesmaid, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, aunty, cousin, flower girl - the list can be endless!" she says. "However, in reality, too many opinions can be extremely confusing for the bride and leave her feeling deflated when people disagree".
That's not to say that the more intimate mother-daughter appointments are always plain sailing. Amanda Kerrison of Amanda K Bridal (amandakbridal.co.uk) implores brides to talk things through with their parents before heading off. "Quite often a mum visualises her daughter in what she would want - maybe a very traditional dress with a long train - and the bride has been looking at slinky fishtail styles with a low back," she comments. "This presents a problem, as the bride may end up wearing something she doesn't feel is perfect - especially if mum holds the purse strings!"
The team at The Bridal House of Cornwall (thebridalhouseofcornwall.co.uk) also advocate the 'less is more' approach at first. "We recommend that you come alone or with one close, trusted friend or family member to your first appointment. It must be someone who genuinely cares that you find your prefect dress - not the dress that they expect you to wear or would like to wear themselves," they comment. "We then recommend coming back with maybe a few more nearest and dearest to get your photos played back to you in our viewing library, so that you can get their feedback knowing that all of the styles on your photos are already in your top hit list."
The searchers
Finding the perfect dress will take time. And in some cases, a lot of time. Even those used to shopping at breakneck speed can find themselves thrown by the enormity of choice, not to mention the advanced planning required.
So how long does it take? Should you limber up to try 100 dresses before finding the right one? It can be a mixed bag, says Elaine: "Some brides will look as early as two years in advance, but that's not too common. We recommend you have a date and a venue booked - then start the dress search. Once you have a dress that is a top contender you will normally find yourself comparing everything to 'the one' - and yes, a large proportion of people buy the first dress they tried on!"
In terms of timescale, Ellen Morgan of Lavender Rose (lavender-rose.co.uk) has seen a general pattern develop. "Most people start looking 12 months before the wedding with a view to buying about nine-six months before," she comments. Remember that the ordering process can take up to six months, so leaving your search later than this will result in a more limited choice.
I found the gown
Different bridal boutiques, dozens of designers, input from family and friends - how do you actually know when you've found 'the one'? Does it strike you like a lightning bolt or creep up on you afterwards when the adrenaline has worn off?
"Some brides just instantly know," say the team at The Bridal House of Cornwall. "We all get goose pimples and the bride, mother of the bride or best friend may burst into tears. These moments are absolutely magical and make our day every single time!"
"If she didn't get that 'bang' moment, our biggest job is to read the bride's signals: did her face light up? Did she swish in a full silk A-line skirt? Or did she put on a '50s lace tea dress with a petticoat and spin with joy?"
Amanda confirms that when it comes right down to it, a boutique never needs to push a dress: "I have input in making suggestions, but no influence at all over their feelings. I just wait on the sidelines with the tissues and a hug!
Amanda cautions against, well, too much caution. "Brides need to be brave and trust their instincts," she says. "They often know they have found the dream dress but continue to look 'just in case'. Some end up leaving the decision far too late and can't get the dress of their dreams in time".
Wavering moments
Remember, dress shopping is a marathon, not a sprint. It doesn't just end when you've declared a final choice. Don't forget the alterations, the accessorising and, if you choose colours or design flourishes that aren't available 'on the rack', you may be waiting for something bespoke.
The dress is one of the biggest purchases of the whole wedding. After the excitement of the day has worn off, do boutiques ever encounter buyer's remorse or changed minds?
"I can count on one hand when a bride has changed her mind about a dress, (I think that's three in seven years)," explains Ellen. "They know that when they place the order, it is a commitment to that dress. When it arrives it is their dress, and that's when the emotional attachment starts".
Dress directives
Fear not, intrepid brides: although there are some hazards to navigate, finding the gown is perhaps the most exciting part of your wedding journey (well, except for the day itself, of course!). We've pulled together a few top tips from some of the leading boutiques in Cornwall.
1 "Go with your heart - don't think about what is practical or what Granny would prefer! It's about how you feel when you put it on. Don't spend too much time studying the details of the dress - does it make you feel special? And, on a practical note, make sure you feel comfortable: don't wear anything revealing or skintight if it will make you hold your breath all day!" Amanda Kerrison, Amanda K Bridal
2 "Try on as many styles and shapes as you can from a range of designers. Different body shapes need different levels of corsetry and structure, as do different wedding venues and locations. Shortlist 'the one' at each boutique you visit, then narrow down your list based on pictures later". The Bridal House of Cornwall
3 "Do you see yourself wearing that dress when you walk down the aisle? If you're struggling, maybe you're trying styles that, although you love, don't always look the best on you? Let the bridal shop make suggestions you hadn't considered and you may be pleasantly surprised!" Elaine Rawlings, County Cream
4 "Give yourself plenty of time to look, and don't try to squeeze too many appointments into one day - they all become a blur. Cornwall has a great variety of wedding dress shops so don't give up - you will find 'the one' eventually! Don't be tempted by the internet - there is no substitute for a good bridal shop with staff who can help and know what they're doing. Also, remember that dresses that have no appeal on the hanger sometimes look amazing on". Vicky Wood, The Wedding Company
5 "Don't be frustrated if the tears or the 'OMG! It's the one' moment don't come. This can take many forms; sometimes it's about just being comfortable and looking like you. Don't forget that lingerie can make a difference to how a dress fits and looks. A slinky dress will need smoothing undies for example. It may make the difference between saying 'I quite like it' to 'Wow, I love it!'" Ellen Morgan, Lavender Rose
words Christopher Wasey
Copyright Wed magazine 2015
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