She's The One

The dress. You might be the type of bride that nurtures a long-held vision. Or perhaps you’re the kind that feels utterly clueless, lost amongst the rails and rendered indecisive by the sheer volume of gowns available. 

It is a decision-making process that differs for every individual. Some will fall for the first frock they try on, others will painstakingly second-guess every dress they encounter while awaiting an epiphany that might never come.

Searching for ‘the one’ can deliver much inspiration and joy, or become one of the most stressful situations of the entire planning process – the all-eyes-on-you moment being one of the most loaded. Not only will you want to look and feel your most fabulous, but you’ll be investing in one of the most important (and potentially pricey) pieces of clothing of your life, which also represents one of the most significant journeys. No pressure, then.

Whether you’re freshly engaged and seeking a little inspiration to help you get started, months in and still struggling to whittle down your shortlist or about to embark upon a dress-shopping weekend and wanting some pragmatic advice – we’ve asked the professionals for their guidance to help you on your way…

Give yourself time
“Most of my wedding dresses take anything from 12 to 24 weeks to be delivered,” reveals Mandy Winn from Frocks & Frills (frocksfrills.co.uk). “You then need to allow six to eight weeks for alterations – so at least eight months in total, although 12 to 18 months is a comfortable time frame,” she says. “Finding your dress also helps with the other details of your wedding; for example, what shape bouquet is best for the shape of dress. I can do quicker deliveries, but it does cost extra money!” 

Always discuss your deadlines with the boutiques you’re visiting, as they’ll know how to help you achieve them. If you’re planning a whirlwind wedding, there’s a host of options available, including buying off the rail, ready-to-wear, sale and end-of-line collections, customising vintage, heirloom or secondhand pieces, and commissioning a tailor-made gown with a designer who can work within your timeframe.

Carefully select your boutiques
“Research boutiques via their website and their social media presence, so that you get an idea of those you’d like to visit to choose your gown,” advises Hailey MacDonald from Coastal Bridal (coastalbridal.co.uk). “Most of my brides pick between one and three boutiques. Just like the rest of your wedding suppliers, your chosen boutique will be with you for the majority of your wedding journey, helping you choose your dress, but also to lend an ear, offer advice, recommend other suppliers, help with hair and make-up ideas and more,” says Hailey. 

Visiting dozens of bridal boutiques isn’t a wise idea, especially if you’re already feeling overwhelmed by choice, so start off with those that house the collections and gowns that you think would be the best fit, and go from there.

Pick a small shopping party
“We understand that looking for a wedding dress is an exciting time, but we recommend you don't bring too many guests with you,” says Marian Couch from Pirouette (pirouettethecollection.com). “Too many opinions don't always help and the focus can be taken totally off the bride! We find two to three guests are the most comfortable.” 

Put simply, pick those whose honest opinions you value and trust the most. “As much as it may be fun for the whole girl gang to come out for the day, more often than not that means more opinions on the dresses, which can often lead to confusion, crossed wires and, in some cases, real upset,” explains Hailey. “Bring a select one to three people with you, who will offer their advice, but will support your decisions. After all, your opinion is really the only one that matters, and only you can truly know how you feel in a dress.”

Size yourself up
“Wedding dress sizes are not true to high street sizes,” reveals Mandy. “Most of my dresses are smaller than high street sizes so you will come up a bigger size in a wedding dress – and the bigger you are, the bigger the gap to high street size. Do not pay any attention to the size – it’s only a number. And don’t be put off looking for a wedding dress because you want to lose weight,” she adds. “Most of my dresses can be taken down by two dress sizes – you’d need to lose a lot of weight in order for a dress not to fit.” 

Remember that comfort is king. If the dress fits like a second skin (that both supports you and allows ease of movement) and makes you shout ‘yes!’, whatever the label says is immaterial. “Bridal sizing is something that grates on me,” confesses Hailey. “It is completely normal to find that wedding dress sizes run smaller than usual high street shops. It’s normal to wear a high street size 14, yet your bridal gown to be ordered in something like a 16 to 20. Just like how high street shops vary with their sizing, so do wedding dress designers. My advice is to remember that the size we order for you is just a starting point for us, then when your dress comes in, it’s completely tailored to you.”

Don’t sweat about your smalls
“Until we get to the tailoring stage of your dress, underwear isn’t overly important,” assures Hailey. “Don’t go buying new undies because you think you should (we don’t care if they don’t match!). Just wear something you are comfortable in and we can work the dresses around you.” Of course it’s important to feel as confident and comfortable as possible while slipping into and out of an array of gowns, but don’t worry about appearing ‘perfect’. “All of the sample dresses will be too long, but we have a podium for you to stand on so that the dresses fall properly and don’t get bunched up on the floor,” she adds. “You don’t need to bring shoes with you, but of course you are welcome to if you want to.”

Sample all styles
“Try to keep as open-minded as possible, as the dress you fall in love with is quite often the opposite of what you thought,” observes Mandy. Though you may have been dreaming of a frothy fairytale frock, it might be a wild card fit-and-flare, micro mini or jumpsuit that catches your eye and gives you that million-dollar feel, so be receptive to trying all types of outfit.

iStock.com/SbytovaMN

Trust the professionals
“Always put your trust in your stylist – we know our gowns and how they fit and flatter!” says Marian. Be confident in trying a style or fabric that you may have initially discounted, as good designers will use fabrics that hang better, the lace is better quality and sometimes they can include hand beading. “Us bridal boutique owners do this all day every day; we know brides and we know our dresses, which means we can often pull out the perfect dress for you, which you may have skipped past on the rail, but may well just be the one!” assures Hailey.

Throw caution to the wind
“Wedding dress shopping gets quite personal, quite quickly,” warns Hailey. “Most boutiques will offer to help you in and out of the dresses as it can be quite the task and the workout! Plus, when sample dresses don’t fit you properly, we can help you to see how it will look tailored by using our clips and pins.” If you’re feeling self-conscious, fear not – bridal boutique staff have quite literally seen it all and their job is to help you to appear the best version of yourself, so approach the task with an open, confident mind intent on having some fun!

Don’t forget your budget
“Be open and honest with the bridal boutique about your budget,” pleads Hailey. “It would be the worst thing ever if you fell in love with a dress that was way over your budget, because then nothing else will compare.” Whether this means investing in a designer gown or accessorising a vintage find with a customised veil, overskirt, cape or shoes, consider both your desired look and the amount available to you to form a workable action plan and avoid disappointment. “Always shop within your budget, however small or big that is,” reiterates Mandy. “There’s nothing worse than falling in love with a dress only to find it’s way outside your budget. It will make it very difficult for you to then move on and find your dream dress that you can afford.”

Tally up expenses
“Always be sure to ask your bridal boutique for the whole cost, including VAT and the tailoring alterations,” says Hailey. “Plus don’t forget your accessories such as a veil and hairpiece. Make sure the small things like dress hanger and dress bag or box are also included in your price.” Keeping a handle on costings is vital when it comes to completing your ensemble, so factor in every purchase when deliberating your allocated budget. If both bride and boutique are transparent about expenses, you can work together toward affording your dream bridal look.

When you know
“Not everyone gets ‘that’ moment when they find their dress,” cautions Mandy. “But you will know when it’s your dress because it will make you feel so special. So don’t worry if you don’t burst into tears!” It’s not about keeping your expectations low, but maintaining a realistic and flexible mindset during the search and when first wearing your wedding dress. Just like when you fell for your fiancé, it might involve a breath-snatching instant, a silent sense of made-for-me connection or a feeling of coming home. 

Your dress shopping journey might involve a few prosecco-fuelled outings, weeks of to-ing and fro-ing between boutiques as you agonise between the final two or a single shopping trip when you slip on a gown that you immediately feel at ease in. If you’re struggling, step away, forget about it and focus on something else. Return to the task when you feel relaxed and ready, and you’ll be in a better position to know what’s truly right for you. 

Main image iStock.com/jacoblund

words Hannah May