Whether it's nieces, nephews, godchildren or your own kids, bringing little ones into your bridal party or giving them responsibilities on your wedding day is a popular and so-sweet addition to your celebration. But with age, nerves and boredom potentially being a factor for little ones, we've come up with some ideas for bringing them into your big day and making the most of all the special little souls in your life...
Nova Wedding Photography
STARTING YOUNG
Often trying to assign a role for a much younger child is tricky, as you may not want to give them too much responsibility for an important element, or to make them worried or anxious about doing it. An ideal job for a young flower girl or page boy is to be a confetti or order of service distributor. "This is an important but relatively easy and enjoyable job, which enables interaction with all the guests whilst helping out the bride and groom," says Maisie from Jenny Wren Weddings & Events Planning (jennywrenweddingsandevents.co.uk), who also suggests wedding wands as an alternative to confetti. "These can look great in photos, you can coordinate them to suit your colour scheme or decor, and are lots of fun for children."
Of course, there's nothing to say a child will get nervous, so don't underestimate how involved they may want to be. "I have been to a wedding where an eight-year-old walked his mother down the aisle, as well as one where an older child was the best man," says Tracy of Blue Fizz Events (bluefizzevents.co.uk). "It was very heart-warming."
Freckle Photography
Whatever the child's age, one way to provide hours of entertainment - plus brilliant memories for yourself - is to give them a disposable camera.
"It's a great way for them to put their own spin on the wedding and help to capture those special moments that the photographer may miss. They may be a bit mismatched but that's all part of the fun," says Maisie.
Freckle Photography
PHOTO FINISH
We often get asked about ideas for incorporating children into photos and, after seeing the photos from Harry and Meghan's wedding with the child attendants looking cute and smiley, it is no surprise that many couples expect children to pose nicely for photos. "However, it is fair to say that it doesn't always work out that way!" says Maisie. Our advice is to ditch the more formal photos of children in favour of candid snaps.
"Expect the images to be fun and unstructured - to capture the moment," says Tracy, something that Maisie agrees with. "These are often the most memorable images as they capture the emotions and enjoyment that they are feeling," she says. "This could include the reaction of seeing the bride for the first time, opening gifts that have been bought for them, dancing with the bride and groom or even capturing them towards the end of the night when they are cuddled up asleep," says Maisie.
GRW Photography
Feel free to get creative with your images on the day, which is something your photographer can help you with.
"I find bouncy castles always make for fun photos, with kids and adults alike, especially if you can get the bride and groom involved!" says Andy from South Weds Wedding Photography (southwedsweddingphotography.com). "Even if it's just throwing everyone on there and watching the hilarity unfold, it makes for an interesting, relaxed setting."
It's an approach that bride Polly, who got married in Cornwall last year, agrees with. "As well as our two children, we had 18 nieces and nephews at our wedding!" she says. "We really wanted a photo of the kids that wasn't just them standing in a line, trying (and failing!) to get them all looking at the camera. In the end, we had some fun with it, got them all to make funny faces, and then let them go wild on the bouncy castle. The results were brilliant, silly, fun, and just what we wanted."
Enchanted Brides Photography
Think about engaging ways to amuse your young guests. If it works with your venue, dot some lawn games around, such as giant Jenga or Connect 4. Bubbles, be it small bottles or giant rope bubbles, are also super enjoyable for kids, something Devon couple Gemma and Simon thought of for their wedding.
"We bought some giant bubble makers and hoops for children to play with at the drinks reception, and had mask and jewellery-making kits for them to have something to do at the table - along with lots of sweets!" says Gemma.
These kinds of activities can also make for great pictures. "A wedding I shot recently on a hot summer's day had a makeshift ice cream stall, which was a real hit with the kids. The same couple also handed out water pistols after the meal, which was equally as popular and had everyone - kids and adults alike - laughing, dodging, running, hiding and generally letting their hair down," says Andy. "Having your DJ or band play something early for the kids to get them on the dance floor is always a win too, plus it gets your guests feel relaxed about having a boogie (generally, kids don't seem to mind being the first on the dance floor, like adults do!)."
Nova Wedding Photography
It's not just the bride and groom who get those pre-wedding jitters. For a child, standing in front of lots of people, or having an important job to do on your wedding day can really increase the pressure on them, so it's vital to ensure that the role a child has is suitable for their level of confidence.
Ways to increase this is to give constant encouragement and enthusiasm to the little ones on the big day or perhaps provide thoughtful personal gifts to show how much you value their participation. Pairing up young ones with a sibling or friend hugely reduces the pressure of walking down the aisle, and will make it much more fun for them.
"Having your small bridesmaid or page boy hold up a cute or funny sign means that not all the attention is on them as they walk down the aisle. This will ease the pressure and provide a few laughs before the bride arrives at the altar. My personal favourite is 'They promised me cake after this!'" says Maisie.
Another way to keep them smiling is to allow them to hold a lucky teddy or sentimental item. It will fill them with confidence and happiness, which in turn will provide a much better experience for everyone.
And don't be too set on a certain idea, as we've heard of weddings where on the day, the child in question is simply too nervous, flat-out refuses - or even falls asleep! "Always have a Plan B in place," says Tracy. "If the child simply cannot proceed, there needs to be someone waiting in the wings."
Clare Kinchin Photography
Finally, one of Maisie's top tips for brides is to make sure that your small helpers' shoes are super-comfortable and stylish. "You would be surprised about how many times children get extremely upset when their shoes don't fit properly as this often means that they do not feel comfortable walking down the aisle."
And if in doubt, take heed of this sage advice from Maisie. "The quirks that come with having kids involved in your wedding can often be the most memorable and funny moments, which are retold for years after the wedding, so don't be disappointed if their involvement doesn't go completely to plan."
Clare Kinchin Photography
Kirstin Prisk Photography
Hannah Wilde Photography
words Lucy Higgins
main image Maxi Photography
Copyright Wed magazine 2018
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