Emotional events provide us with rich memories and sore eyes. The birth of a child, the passing of someone close or the trading in of a prized sports car for a Focus Estate when the family expands can be absolute tearjerkers.
And then there's the wedding day: an emotional floodgate if ever there was one, complete with its associated blubberers.
There's the mother of the bride of course, drowning under a torrent of tears at the sight of her daughter floating up the aisle. Then there's the father of the bride, bawling his eyes out over the bill. Added to the obvious, you have an audience of (largely female) relatives and friends reaching for tissues throughout the ceremony. With such a tsunami of emotion sweeping the gushing guests off their feet, it's astonishing that the RNLI aren't moored up in the wings. But it's good emotion and expected: tears of joy rather than tears of sadness.
For the groom, showing the right amount of emotion during the ceremony can be a challenge.
On the one hand, a conscious withholding of gushing emotion can symbolise strength and control during a momentous occasion, and provide the bride with a steadying hand throughout a nerve-racking event. But this somewhat stoical stance, however well intentioned, could result in accusations of insensitivity and a blase attitude towards 'the most special day of a girl's life,' and draw disapproving stares from friends and family.
On the other hand, it could be argued that sinking to the knees like the Titanic amid a sea of tears, and hyperventilating one's way through the 'I dos' with a brief respite to blow one's nose on the meringue next to you, will also draw disapproving stares from friends and family. And maybe even the bride herself, who might be startled at the revelation that her husband-to-be is a wet wipe.
The best display of emotion is a natural one, albeit consciously maintaining a balance between a warm outpouring and admirable restraint. Weddings are beautiful moving moments that deserve emotional reaction, so enjoy. Real men do cry, but they cry with control. And if the emotional tidal wave threatens to engulf you and dampen the progress of the ceremony, just think momentarily of something worrying, serious and potentially damaging to quell those tears - like the best man's speech...
Words Robin Fuller
Copyright WED Magazine 2010
