'I’m Becky: I’m getting married in 5 months’ time.
Whether you’re on the same journey, arrived at destination ‘wedded bliss’ or looking askance as the chaotic motorcade that is my wedding trundles past, this blog is a true account of one gal’s road to the end of the aisle. Warning…potholes, blind-corners and false summits approaching. DREAMS
You see I just wasn’t that interested in getting married.
Beyond my fear of drowning in a sea of frothy tulle, I am over thirty and therefore of a generation brought up on a heart-imploding visual diet of a thousand Hollywood broken vows or – and often worse – a depressing plethora of stories where marriage is the happy ending…ending being the clanger for me in this cliché: the be all and end all of women’s dreams and desires as far as screenplays weave them.
Protesting against this pigeonholing of my sisters I decried the state of ‘bride’.
Even before this somewhat haughty stance, I was aware that my ‘being swept off my feet’ fantasies were a little out of step with the formula seen on screen.
Whilst Belle, Cinders and Ariel dreamed prettily of their prince, I dreamed of flying with Peter Pan, hiding on board the Dawntreader and taking down Smaug’s lair: hobbit style.
Later, my daydreams involved an investigative reporter / secret agent medley in the mould of Lois Lane. Whilst I’ll admit that Dean Cain’s souped-up Superman was probably a bit of a draw in my future-me fantasy, the female model I aspired to didn’t seem to match that of the demurring, delicate bride.
My female relatives didn’t help. With waist length golden hair my Mum was an Elvin princess: my Gran a black and white beauty from another era. Both inaccessible to my Doc Martin-encased teenage self.
Yet, obviously, my idea of ‘bride’ was as warped as Hollywood’s.
Bride is you: bride is me. Bride is whatever we make it mean to our relationships and ourselves. It can be a part of a relationship without being its ultimate goal.
What’s amusing is that, in hindsight, the dreams I coveted and thought of as subversive were thinly veiled bride-in-waiting fantasies.
Despite all her independence Lois was, quite literally, swept off her feet by her super man. Peter Pan – the Hook defeating, Tinker-Bell wielding, Tiger-lily rescuing boy who never grew up – swept not only Wendy but also her bros off on a magical adventure…and how I longed to go with them.
In fact, so desperate was I to hear the secretive tap on my bedroom window from this pixie-nosed boy; I kept it open throughout my childhood.
Of course, Neverland never happened.
But sweeping, by my now fiancé, did.
Although he has an aversion to wearing tights (I’ve tried), he does wear his heart on his sleeve.
Although we have grown up in the six years of our relationship, he does make me feel like it will forever be young.
And, although he can’t fly, he makes me feel like I can.
So whilst I’ll still clap my hands with the best of them if someone heretically declares fairies to be fictional characters, I have my boy with the pixie nose and I shut my window at night.
And this, I realise, is all it takes to make a bride – being swept along in something bigger than yourself. I intend to enjoy the ride. THEMES
Perhaps that’s why we’ve decided that, in homage to my childhood dream, our wedding’s theme will incorporate a subtle sprinkle of J. M. Barrie pixie dust.
Fear not: Barbie pink and, thankfully, tights are banned. We’re pitching for ethereal, forested magic with a relaxed and alternative vibe.
If you’re fretting over whether to theme your wedding or simply how to express your collective personalities – don’t panic, it’s simple:
Who you are (singular and plural) is your theme.
Here are a few sites we found handy as we got to grips with how to best express ‘us’ via the curious medium of the wedding…'greenweddingshoes.com - American blog with lots of style, sass and real weddings