Bridal Advice
Starting out on your wedding planning journey? Heed these words of wisdom from brides who have been there - and regretted that
Hindsight is a handy thing. These brides have gallantly decided to dish the dirt on everything they wished they'd known before the big day, to give you a heads up. From ordering in a tonne too many canapes to nearly crippling their feet in pretty stilettos, they've been there - so make sure you're not headed that way too...
Dress stress
You try on at least a thousand, spend half a century tracking it down and shell out a small fortune on it - so it's understandable that after all that you want to take good care of the dress of your dreams. Just don't let fretting about your dress get in your way of a good time. Claire told us: "You only wear it once, so show it off. It doesn't matter if it gets a bit grubby." So mingle, dance and be merry, free from worry. And in the morning, ring your dry cleaners. Sorted!
Go with the flow
Things will go wrong, or at least a bit wonky. It's the nature of any large event. Lauren shared her example with us: "Our wedding ceremony was outside and we were supposed to have a microphone but they couldn't get it to work. So we did the whole thing without it, which, in the end, worked out because it made it more intimate and less like a show." So try your utmost to accept any perceived failings of the day, and don't worry about your guests. As Lauren pointed out: "No one knows how it was supposed to be in the first place. It will still be the best day of your life." Hear, hear!
Food glorious food
When organising a wedding, it's tempting to go mad with your catering. After all, hungry guests are a cardinal sin. That said, if you're on a budget, think very carefully about quantities. Haddy told us: "I wish we'd known how much leftover food there would be - we wouldn't have wasted so much money on it!" And don't just think about your sit-down meal; consider your cake too. Hollie had a cake of cheese for her reception: "There is actually still some in our fridge," she says - though we're not entirely sure that is a bad thing!
Preserve your posy
For some brides, their wedding bouquet is a beautiful reminder of their big day, and preserving it is a lovely way to keep that memory forever. Hollie said, despite not being a traditional flower lover, dismantling her bouquet reduced her to tears. Afterwards, she put the flowers in a vase of water and sadly they slowly died. She told us: "It was a beautiful part of our day and I wish I had asked my florist about preserving them sooner." Get in touch with a bouquet preservation specialist, such as Susan Fowler Bouquet Preservation (susanfowler.co.uk).
Take it all in
Time flies when you're having fun. So if you're doing it right, your wedding day will whizz by. Hollie told us: "I wish I had stopped and thought more on the day to take everything in; it was all one perfect, beautiful blur to me." But even if you do stop to soak up the atmosphere, you're certain to miss something. The answer? Good old technology. Lorna told us: "The one thing I would definitely encourage is to have a video made of your day. The day goes so quick, and it's not until you've seen it afterwards that you realised all that was going on." Videographers have upped their game big time in the last decade, so you can forget cheesy special effects and enjoy your day captured naturally and beautifully. And just imagine showing the grandkids - nostalgia overload!
Say cheese!
Photos - and everything to do with them - were a big issue for most of our brides. It's not particularly in vogue to have lots of pre-planned, staged photographs, but if you've got a special shot in mind, speak up. Hollie told us: "I didn't get a picture of just me and my immediate family, because the photographer focused on big group pictures. But I wanted a sentimental one for my collection." Lorna added: "I regret not asking the photographer to come to the house before I left, so there were no photos of me leaving from there." Moral of the story? Don't be afraid to let the photographer know exactly what you want. You are paying after all.
On that note, make sure you check out your photographer's work before you make the booking. Sue told us: "We paid quite a lot of money for our photographer, but the photos really weren't of a great quality. I wish I had have checked him out properly beforehand." Most photographers have a website or a portfolio you can look at, so do your research, take a good look at entire weddings and don't be tempted to go on a recommendation alone.
Plan present time
Opening wedding presents (if you're going down that route) is your birthday, Christmas and every other good thing rolled into one. But hold your horses: unwrapping with wild abandon can cause serious confusion. Oh no, this requires strategic thinking. Sue told us: "We were so excited to see what we'd got we just opened everything without paying attention to who it was from. It made writing thank you cards very difficult!" So take your time, luxuriate in it and, when in doubt, write up a list of names and matching presents so you can thank with accuracy.
If the shoe fits
You walk into the shop and spot them immediately. Just the right amount of sparkle, the perfect shade of white (yes, there are shades of white) and a heel that will give you the legs of Giselle. Needless to say, it's love. But before you commit to a pair of mega heels, heed this tale of warning from Emma: "I bought my dream Jimmy Choos, but by 6pm I had to take them off. My feet were in agony and I could barely walk! And let's not talk about the blisters." Ouch. If you can't bear to be parted from your beautiful heels, why not bring along a pair of back-up flats? That way you can show them off in the photographs, but still dance the night away in comfort. Win win.
Child friendly
To allow children at your wedding or not? That is the question. Sue's advice? Make your mind up, and stick to it: "I went to a wedding where the couple reluctantly allowed children. Only a few kids ended up going, and every time they so much as made a noise it was massively frowned upon." Look, it's your big day. If you don't want children there, just say so. Better that than make parents feel a bit awkward.
Maid of horror
Jasmyn told us her tale of a maid of honour from hell. She didn't turn up to dress fittings, organised the world's worst hen do and kicked up a fuss about her own hair and make-up. She even started a screaming match with the bride days before the wedding. She warned: "If there was any advice I would give to anyone, it is don't try to please other people and forget about you. Your wedding day is about you and your groom and, to paraphrase your vows, don't let anyone get in the way of that!" So before you go bestowing the title, think twice about who to give it to. Generally speaking, the better you know the person, the less likely things are to go sour.
Take a pew
Ah, the seating plan. Many couples spend endless hours figuring out the winning combination, only to have it all ruined with a no-show or last minute argument. Haddy's advice? Don't sweat it. "We stressed so much drawing up our table plan to ensure our families were happy but, at the end of the day, it wasn't about them - it was about us starting our future together."
words Abby Driver
Copyright wed magazine 2015
Dress stress
You try on at least a thousand, spend half a century tracking it down and shell out a small fortune on it - so it's understandable that after all that you want to take good care of the dress of your dreams. Just don't let fretting about your dress get in your way of a good time. Claire told us: "You only wear it once, so show it off. It doesn't matter if it gets a bit grubby." So mingle, dance and be merry, free from worry. And in the morning, ring your dry cleaners. Sorted!
Go with the flow
Things will go wrong, or at least a bit wonky. It's the nature of any large event. Lauren shared her example with us: "Our wedding ceremony was outside and we were supposed to have a microphone but they couldn't get it to work. So we did the whole thing without it, which, in the end, worked out because it made it more intimate and less like a show." So try your utmost to accept any perceived failings of the day, and don't worry about your guests. As Lauren pointed out: "No one knows how it was supposed to be in the first place. It will still be the best day of your life." Hear, hear!
Food glorious food
When organising a wedding, it's tempting to go mad with your catering. After all, hungry guests are a cardinal sin. That said, if you're on a budget, think very carefully about quantities. Haddy told us: "I wish we'd known how much leftover food there would be - we wouldn't have wasted so much money on it!" And don't just think about your sit-down meal; consider your cake too. Hollie had a cake of cheese for her reception: "There is actually still some in our fridge," she says - though we're not entirely sure that is a bad thing!
Preserve your posy
For some brides, their wedding bouquet is a beautiful reminder of their big day, and preserving it is a lovely way to keep that memory forever. Hollie said, despite not being a traditional flower lover, dismantling her bouquet reduced her to tears. Afterwards, she put the flowers in a vase of water and sadly they slowly died. She told us: "It was a beautiful part of our day and I wish I had asked my florist about preserving them sooner." Get in touch with a bouquet preservation specialist, such as Susan Fowler Bouquet Preservation (susanfowler.co.uk).
Take it all in
Time flies when you're having fun. So if you're doing it right, your wedding day will whizz by. Hollie told us: "I wish I had stopped and thought more on the day to take everything in; it was all one perfect, beautiful blur to me." But even if you do stop to soak up the atmosphere, you're certain to miss something. The answer? Good old technology. Lorna told us: "The one thing I would definitely encourage is to have a video made of your day. The day goes so quick, and it's not until you've seen it afterwards that you realised all that was going on." Videographers have upped their game big time in the last decade, so you can forget cheesy special effects and enjoy your day captured naturally and beautifully. And just imagine showing the grandkids - nostalgia overload!
Say cheese!
Photos - and everything to do with them - were a big issue for most of our brides. It's not particularly in vogue to have lots of pre-planned, staged photographs, but if you've got a special shot in mind, speak up. Hollie told us: "I didn't get a picture of just me and my immediate family, because the photographer focused on big group pictures. But I wanted a sentimental one for my collection." Lorna added: "I regret not asking the photographer to come to the house before I left, so there were no photos of me leaving from there." Moral of the story? Don't be afraid to let the photographer know exactly what you want. You are paying after all.
On that note, make sure you check out your photographer's work before you make the booking. Sue told us: "We paid quite a lot of money for our photographer, but the photos really weren't of a great quality. I wish I had have checked him out properly beforehand." Most photographers have a website or a portfolio you can look at, so do your research, take a good look at entire weddings and don't be tempted to go on a recommendation alone.
Plan present time
Opening wedding presents (if you're going down that route) is your birthday, Christmas and every other good thing rolled into one. But hold your horses: unwrapping with wild abandon can cause serious confusion. Oh no, this requires strategic thinking. Sue told us: "We were so excited to see what we'd got we just opened everything without paying attention to who it was from. It made writing thank you cards very difficult!" So take your time, luxuriate in it and, when in doubt, write up a list of names and matching presents so you can thank with accuracy.
If the shoe fits
You walk into the shop and spot them immediately. Just the right amount of sparkle, the perfect shade of white (yes, there are shades of white) and a heel that will give you the legs of Giselle. Needless to say, it's love. But before you commit to a pair of mega heels, heed this tale of warning from Emma: "I bought my dream Jimmy Choos, but by 6pm I had to take them off. My feet were in agony and I could barely walk! And let's not talk about the blisters." Ouch. If you can't bear to be parted from your beautiful heels, why not bring along a pair of back-up flats? That way you can show them off in the photographs, but still dance the night away in comfort. Win win.
Child friendly
To allow children at your wedding or not? That is the question. Sue's advice? Make your mind up, and stick to it: "I went to a wedding where the couple reluctantly allowed children. Only a few kids ended up going, and every time they so much as made a noise it was massively frowned upon." Look, it's your big day. If you don't want children there, just say so. Better that than make parents feel a bit awkward.
Maid of horror
Jasmyn told us her tale of a maid of honour from hell. She didn't turn up to dress fittings, organised the world's worst hen do and kicked up a fuss about her own hair and make-up. She even started a screaming match with the bride days before the wedding. She warned: "If there was any advice I would give to anyone, it is don't try to please other people and forget about you. Your wedding day is about you and your groom and, to paraphrase your vows, don't let anyone get in the way of that!" So before you go bestowing the title, think twice about who to give it to. Generally speaking, the better you know the person, the less likely things are to go sour.
Take a pew
Ah, the seating plan. Many couples spend endless hours figuring out the winning combination, only to have it all ruined with a no-show or last minute argument. Haddy's advice? Don't sweat it. "We stressed so much drawing up our table plan to ensure our families were happy but, at the end of the day, it wasn't about them - it was about us starting our future together."
words Abby Driver
Copyright wed magazine 2015