Quiz for budding Groomzillas...
Watch out! A new breed of super groom is on the loose.
He has good intentions, a bad temper and he's not afraid to get ugly. Take our just-for-fun quiz to find out if you are marrying man or beast!
According to the Urban Dictionary, a Groomzilla is a 'heterosexual man planning a wedding who becomes over involved, demanding and outrageously hostile about small irrelevant details involved with the planning of the ceremony and/or reception.' These testosterone-fuelled schemers are bigger, badder and more bolshy than their feminine counterparts, the Bridezillas - so brides beware!
In the last two years there has been a marked increase in the number of Groomzillas stalking the streets and wedding fairs of America and, more recently, Britain. New York party planner, Danielle Elder, of Classic Events NYC explained that whereas she has traditionally had initial meetings with the bride and perhaps her mother, "75% of my brides now bring their fiance along". Where America leads, Britain is usually fast to follow...
We live in a society of modern men and busy brides; it is only practical to divide responsibilities equally. Given that grooms are taking on more of the financial burden for the wedding, rather than the bride's father, it is understandable that men are becoming increasingly interested in exactly how their money is spent. But when a reasonable interest in the big day turns into obsessive micromanaging, it may be time for an intervention.
If you are concerned that your nuptials may have unleashed a monster in your man, take our quick quiz - it may put your mind at rest... or confirm the worst!
1. A TV show about weddings comes on. Does your partner...
(Red) watch and comment, taking an interest without remembering the exact details of the show when you mention it at a later date?
(Blue) suggest you change the channel? You've seen enough weddingy stuff!
(Green) watch with interest, occasionally shushing you during the important bits?
2. You have heard about an upcoming wedding fair, but it is entry by ticket only. How many tickets will you book?
(Blue) Two. One for you, one for a special friend. There's no chance your groom will spend hours looking at frocks, flowers and fancies - that's your department.
(Red) Three. You'll bring family or a special friend, but your partner wants to be there too, helping and sharing ideas.
(Green) None. Your groom bought the tickets week ago. Why haven't you checked the itinerary?
3. It's decision time and three options for place settings lie before you. How helpful is your groom-to-be?
(Red) Quite. He can see the attraction of all three, has given his opinion, but doesn't mind compromising.
(Green) Not very. He told you which one he liked weeks ago and he can't believe you're still deliberating over this when there are so many other things to do.
(Blue) Not very. His standard answer these days is: "Whichever one you like, darling."
4. You are choosing your wedding rings. Will he...
(Green) choose one a little more flashy, certainly more expensive, for himself?
(Red) help you choose your ring and have a frank discussion with you about whether or not he should wear a ring?
(Blue) just help you pick yours? He'll wear a ring if he's a jewellery man, if not he won't. It's his decision.
5. You are tasting cakes. He will be looking for a cake that is...
6. Outfits can be expensive. The budget for his suit is...
(Blue) as yet undecided but it won't be over the top because he isn't too bothered by designer labels.
(Red) reasonable because he wants you to be able to afford the dress of your dreams.
(Green) a mystery. He knows what he wants and he's having it. It's not up for discussion. End of.
7. Selecting a menu can be a lengthy process. How long have you been looking?
(Blue) Not long. One of the first menus you sampled was good, so you went with it.
(Red) A while. You want a menu that represents you both and accommodates the dietary requirements of your guests.
(Green) Forever. You liked the first menu but he won't be happy until he's sampled every locally produced, organic, free range, seasonal hors d'�uvre in the region.
8. A relative with appalling manners and a reputation for causing a scene after a few beverages is intending to come to the wedding, despite not receiving an invite. How does your partner respond?
(Red) He will consider this matter. The important thing is that your day isn't spoilt and he's sure he can come up with a tactful plan that will resolve the issue.
(Green) Not well. The relative in question will not make an appearance even if it means hiring security. The day will be perfect.
(Blue) This is not a disaster. Floods and earthquakes are disasters; this is just unfortunate. Besides, every wedding party has to contain a few oddballs.
9. The future mother-in-laws want to help out - baking cakes, flower arranging, putting together orders of service. How does your partner greet this news?
(Green) He dismisses the notion. It's kind of them but you're on a tight schedule and there is no margin for error.
(Blue) He's delighted. This is win win: less stress for you and the mums are keen to contribute.
(Red) He's pleased. He's sure that, together, you will find things for the mothers to do, without losing control.
You've found yourself a GROOMCHILLER. A laid-back soul who is more focused on the bigger picture that the minutiae. He may not be overly interested in the font you want to use for the place cards but he will be invaluable at keeping you calm and relaxed leading up to the big day.
This gentleman is WELL-GROOMED. He wants your day to be as special as possible for you both. He will take an interest in the things that are important to you but he can also put lesser issues into perspective. He does things properly - no wonder you're marrying him.
Bride beware - you are in the clutches of the GROOMZILLA! You didn't really need us to tell you that, did you? The packed schedule and refusal to accept second best on any aspect of this wedding should have been enough of a giveaway. In fact, we're surprised you have managed to sit this long reading Wed without him interrupting you with yet another urgent task... Oh, he has? Well, at least this will wear off after the wedding...
Wed went out and about to ask local grooms how much involvement they had in their weddings. Spot the Groomzillas!
Christian, 39, Penzance
"There is no room for a Groomzilla. It's the bride's day and any groom who forgets that does so at his peril. My main concern was to ensure that I looked fabulous on the day: a great suit, expensive shoes, beautiful shirt and tie etc. You do that, of course, for your bride because she said 'yes' in the first place but you also secretly enjoy the idea that all the other ladies are crying because you're the one the that got away - 'look what you could have won!' as Bully might have said!"
Sam, 37, Torquay
"My main involvement was sorting out the cars, arriving at the church on time, the speech, and arranging the honeymoon. It was a 50/50 thing but my wife had a veto on everything! We shared the responsibilities, but ultimately it was her day. Some of the things I knew she would do a better job on and some things I did alone: I chose her engagement ring before the proposal and I made the orders of service by hand." (Sam's wife would like it known that he did not make all of the orders of service by hand, in fact he had rather a lot of help. Sam disputes this).
Brendan, 33, Penzance
"I'm having a say in every aspect of the wedding apart from the dress. The venue, food, entertainment and whole look of the day matters to me. It's about both of us and a celebration of who we are as a couple, so I want to be involved as much as possible - though you won't catch me making bunting anytime soon."
Ashley, 31, St Austell
"My involvement is strictly limited to ensuring I'm there on the day and that the best man is sober for 80% of the ceremony (you can't ask too much). The rest of the time I'll be smiling and nodding at place settings."
Anthony, 30, Penzance
"I'm very involved in planning our wedding, from the menu and marquee decor through to the photography and entertainment. It's an equally big day for both of us - we're both making the same commitment and that should be reflected in the way we plan the day. Planning the wedding together strengthens the bond between us and helps build up our anticipation for the wedding."
Chris, 35, Newlyn
"I had to ask her to marry me, which is quite a big deal and write a speech, which was a bit tricky. And from there on it was her job to make it run smoothly. If she wanted to marry the best man in the world she needed to deal with the wedding, because I wasn't cheap."
words Charity Wilson
Copyright WED Magazine 2011
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