Wed muses on love, marriage and how to handle the highs and lows of married life...
Wed muses on love, marriage and how to handle the highs and lows of married life...
GRW Photography
"What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined for life - to strengthen each other in all labour, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent, unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting."
George EliotA lot of things have been said about marriage. It draws huge debate from all types of people, from all cultures, religions and countries of the world.One of the oldest institutions known to man, meditations on marriage relate the core elements, emotions and experiences that make us human - giving reason and substance to couples' continued decision to commit for life.
As George Eliot's rhetorical question announces: there may be no better way to declare and celebrate your love than to get married.
I've been musing on matrimony and borrowed some other thinkers' words to remind you of the joys that await, as well as how to successfully handle getting hitched...
Ross Talling
"What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility." Leo TolstoyMarriage isn't about viewing your differences as negative or abrasive, but rather relishing your separateness and learning from what may divide you.
As the old adage 'opposites attract' explores, a fundamental incompatibility can be a good thing. Difference can be a great source of challenge, intrigue, new learning possibilities, excitement and knowledge, which will only serve to enhance your relationship as well as sense of self.
Ashley Hampson
"A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers." Robert QuillenYou will argue. Remember, to err is human...
Ben Selway
"The greatest marriages are built on teamwork. A mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and a never-ending portion of love and grace." Fawn WeaverYour coupling is an exclusive two-person team dedicated to your individual and collective goals. All teamwork requires a decent degree of cooperation, patience and understanding - as well as a definite dose of the other aforementioned qualities. Exercise them readily, and a happy marriage lingers on the horizon.
Alan Law
"Love is a partnership of two unique people who bring out the very best in each other, and who know that even though they are wonderful as individuals, they are even better together." Barbara CageKnowing each others' strengths and weaknesses (while not using them to judge each other) will help you to work both individually and as a couple to negotiate your way/s.
With someone who adores you concerned with your best interests as much as - if not more than - theirs by your side, you'll push and prosper each other, together.
Alan Law
"Enjoy the little things in life... For one day you'll look back and realise they were the big things." Kurt VonnegutIt's always the small things. Little gestures of love, appreciation, thoughtfulness and compassion all accumulate over time, making the good times great and the bad times bearable.
Date nights/doing the laundry/surprise weekends away/not forgetting to say thank you all demonstrate that you respect and cherish your spouse. Love is an invisible thing, so make sure that you make the effort to personally show it sometimes.
Ben Selway
"To keep the fire burning brightly there's one easy rule: keep the two logs together, near enough to keep each other warm and far enough apart - about a finger's breadth - for breathing room. Good fire, good marriage, same rule."
Marnie Reed CrowellThe force of love can sometimes suffocate. The need can feel all-consuming - that's the nature of passion - but smother something long enough (either from fear or desire) and it runs the risk of ruin.
Co-existence is key, which means establishing parallel lives. Maintain closeness by allowing space for each other to move and grow, otherwise the rules of resistance can be called into play as you unwittingly push apart under the pressure. Exercise certain fluidity and flexibility of approach and feeling.
Ben Selway
"To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up." Ogden NashIf you're sorry, apologise. Even if you fail to see that you're wrong, or why you've hurt your love - acknowledge their pain, try to understand why they feel it and ask how you can help to alleviate it. This response alone is often enough to heal wounds even without clear answers or a complete resolution.
Alan Law
"Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. It isn't something you get. It's something you do. It's the way you love your partner every day." Barbara De AngelisLike an art, marriage requires constant contemplation, refinement and exploration. It's a sustained practice. So long as communication is core and you continue to voice your joys and grievances, your relationship will become exponentially empowered.
Travers and Brown
"One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again." Judith ViorstThere will be tough, tiresome and trialsome times. But so long as you can help each other through them, or allow your partner the space they require to deal with these moments alone or elsewhere, then when the darker days vanish, you'll be better placed to return to your former state, usually with a heightened and more appreciative sense of 'us'.
Alan Law
"Committing to staying calm is the first key to committing to staying married."
Hal RunkelConflicts, stress, frustration and despair will inevitably occur throughout your relationship at some point so, as you fall from marital bliss down into the doldrums, it's vital that you Keep Calm and do whatever you need to do (Carry On/Drink Tea/Make It Yourself/Call Batman/Eat Chocolate - or create your own slogan).
Breathe. And move on.
Nova Wedding Photography
words
Hannah MayCopyright Wed magazine 2014