It may seem like a bizarre thing to say to all you nearly-weds but - in the throes of wedding planning, where a world of stresses, tantrums and tears often await - it's worth remembering one simple thing: you're getting married.
With couples so often confusing weddings with marriage - one being a day, the other a life commitment - it's easy to get bogged down in the details and domestics over the ridiculous and sublime. So while you passionately debate the day's itinerary like your life depends on it, you're forgetting the fact that your marriage lies in the midst - and a lifetime of togetherness is of far greater importance than your insistence that the speeches are scheduled before the sit-down meal.
Stop. Step back and look at the wedding whys. It's easy to become embroiled in the fuss and fluff of weddings and every couple is guilty as charged. But back track a little - especially when it all gets a bit much - to relive your relationship and, beyond the whirlwind of the wedding day itself, the sacred union that is marriage.
After all, marriage is a wonderful phenomenon that is proven to reap a whole host of lifelong benefits and rewards. Relax, read on and enjoy what marriage has in store for you...
A healthy heart and mind
A recent study by the European Society of Cardiology claims that being married truly is good for your heart, giving protective properties and a better prognosis of cardiac events before and after hospitalisation.
Meanwhile, studies in the States have shown that married couples also have a lower risk of cancer, strokes and pneumonia, with the National Longitudinal Mortality Study revealing that married men are three times less likely to die young than their single counterparts.
Though the reason for these bonus health benefits are due to better lifestyle choices, improved immunity and the enhanced homecare in old age that marriage and family provides - the effect is no less impressive.
Reducing the risk of illness, heart attacks and helping you live longer - in short - marriage doctors the heart, body and mind.
The World Health Organisation reiterates these findings with its conclusions of the benefits of marriage on mental health: that it can reduce the risk of depression and anxiety. Marriage helps to banish the blues by fostering a sense of meaning in life, shared goals and an emotional support system that makes tackling troubles - both externally and internally - an easier and more accomplishable feat.
Also lowering stress levels with the problem-shared-problem-halved philosophy, research demonstrates how dividing worries really does diffuse them, with marriage linked with a reduced production of the stress hormone, cortisol.
Combine all this with the fact that the benefits increase with longevity of marriage, which means that - contrary to your grandparents' jests of life sentences - the longer you enjoy the state of matrimony, the more exaggerated the advantageous health effects.
Before you get too smug - a minor word of warning: statistics reveal that married couples are more likely to gain weight together, but are also more likely to mimic good behaviour in their spouse. Make a healthy diet and exercise habitual - and you're both more likely to keep fit and healthy together.
A wealth of security
Marriage is an extremely stable state of being. Affording twice the resources, you're effectively doubling up on an array of aspects that can assist in successful living.
Marital partnerships make sense on a number of practical levels, since you're sharing financial and emotional burdens, but doing it with twice the input of a singleton. The power of two is supplied by everything from individual assets and monetary wealth to domestic tasks, and emotional intelligence to personal experience.
There's also a bevy of financial perks that married people are entitled to, from tax breaks to pensions, income tax and capital gains tax benefits. Plus, marriage offers the peace of mind that your loved one should maintain some stability, as anything left to a spouse or civil partner is exempt from inheritance tax.
A family affair
One of the main tenets of marriage and a key factor as to why many people choose to take the plunge is in order to create and raise a family together. Here is one area where having both parents on board definitely eases the load and is cited by people the world over as one of the most important, valuable, rewarding and meaningful experiences of their lives.
Creating a family within the realms of marriage gives purpose, renews and strengthens romantic relationships and makes it more likely that you'll receive the right kind of emotional and spiritual support required to age more healthily.
The pursuit of happiness
With a study by the University of Warwick stating that 40 per cent of married people, compared with just 25 per cent of single people, claim to be happy - it's little wonder that marriage is on the increase: it's the feel-good factor to modern life that the study's professor likens to "the equivalent of an annual cash injection of �60,000 into our lives". With the age of austerity looming in our near futures and beyond, that's an emotional investment worth risking singlehood for in order to accrue new levels of personal wealth.
The core of human happiness is being loved and needed by others who express an interest in our lives and a desire to fulfil our needs and look after us. Take a look at your upcoming vows, as the definition of happiness reflects them practically word-by-word, meaning that marriage and happiness are inextricably linked.
Some Wed readers share their meditations on married life...
"There is something about being married which feels more solid, more substantial - more real if you like. Whilst rationally I've known for a while that my husband is 100 per cent behind me and has my best interests at heart, now I really feel that to be true. Being married and having that reassurance that you are a solid unit, existing as individuals in our own rights but operating as an 'us', is amazing. Getting married also acted as a major catalyst in my life, meaning that after a long time of wanting to leave the corporate world and try something new, for the first time I felt I had the financial stability and - more importantly - the emotional security and support to take that scary step. Being married really is no different on a day-to-day basis but it has certainly made me more positive and more confident: both about myself and about life in general." Vicki, married April 2012
"Marriage to me is about settlement and security. Everyone asks me if I feel different now that I am married. My answer is always the same: no, apart from a wonderful feeling of security, happiness and excitement about the future. We are all constantly developing and learning things - and this should be the same in a marriage - I still find it exciting when I hear a story about my partner that I didn't know, or a song he loves from his past that I didn't realise. It makes me realise that I will spend the whole of my life learning more about this person and sharing a wonderful journey with him." Matt, married July 2012
"In our marriage I feel secure in the promise that we made to each other in front of friends and family and before God over ten years ago. This, in turn, gives me great confidence to try new things, explore life and take risks. No matter what circumstance is and has been thrown at us, knowing that we both stand on the promise made in marriage allows us to live without fear and love without limits." Melanie, married August 2002
"Marriage is good because someone accepts you and loves you conditionally; you find your partner for life who stands with you through the good times and the bad. I also think it provides a better environment for children growing up in a stable, loving family. Marriage is good for a healthy sex life where you can get to know each other on a deeper, more intimate level. And also, you have plenty of opportunity for romance, dating and sharing time together." Jess, married January 2013
"Marriage has changed my life in a way I never thought it would. Before we got married, I thought I couldn't possibly love my fiance anymore than I already did - but how wrong was I! Standing in front of all your family and friends and declaring how much you love one another and want to spend the rest of your lives together, no matter what, is a life-changing experience. The way I feel about my husband now has multiplied infinity fold! The first six months of marriage have been bliss and it just keeps getting better; I can't wait to experience all that life has to throw at us and for our future together to unfold. It's hard to explain the difference between just being together and being married - I just know it's so much better than before; getting married was the best thing we ever did!" Sarah, married September 2012
words Hannah May
illustration Melanie Chadwick www.melaniechadwick.com
Copyright Wed magazine 2013
