Once conservative affairs punctuated with tradition, weddings have become a little more open to interpretation in recent years. It seems many couples are tired of feeling pressured by customs; you only have to look to the world of celebrities to see. From Kim Kardashian hiring an Instagram wedding photographer to Angelina Jolie letting her children scribble all over her veil, the message is loud and clear: we'll do things our way. Here are ten traditions up for debate...
1. GIVING THE BRIDE AWAY
Dating back thousands of years to a time when the bride was considered the property of her father, and later, the property of her husband, it's easy to see why some modern brides are keen to shun this custom! Instead, plenty of brides are making the trip down the aisle solo. Whilst walking down the aisle with a family member is still a popular choice, many women are choosing to do so with less traditional company. Mums, best friends and even pets are all fair game these days.
2. THE FIRST DANCE
In order to get everybody pumped and throwing shapes on the dance floor, newly-weds usually perform a first dance to officially open the dance floor. While this seems an exciting and romantic prospect for many couples, for those blessed with two left feet the idea can leave them a sweaty, nervous wreck. Not the best look for your wedding day. For such couples, a last dance is a good option. Performed at the end of the evening when everyone has loosened up, so to speak, it's a sweet way to put an end to the celebrations.
3. THROWING THE BOUQUET
Tradition states that whoever catches the bride's bouquet will be the one to get married next. But if the thought of calling up all your single ladies to faux fight over your bouquet seems a bit dated, it might be time to think outside the box. You could create a break-away bouquet and gift a single flower to each of your bridal party. Diplomacy at its best! Or what about giving your bouquet to the couple who have been together the longest? If you're a bouquet-less bride, this is one less thing to worry about.
4. WEARING WHITE
Queen Victoria was something of a trendsetter. Prior to her wedding to Prince Albert in 1840, there wasn't a standard colour for wedding dresses. In Europe, brides favoured texture over colour, opting for heavily embroidered gowns; meanwhile, across the pond, red, blue and even black were all popular choices. But after tales of Queen Victoria's spectacular white gown spread across the globe, white soon became the colour to get married in. Later, it was recognised as symbol of innocence, which, while not always strictly true, hasn't stopped it becoming the standard choice amongst today's brides. But don't let its popularity stop you experimenting if white isn't your colour. From Vera Wang's gothic inspired looks to the bevy of beautiful blush creations and metallic shades on the market, there is a hue out there for everyone.
5. TOSSING THE GARTER
The ceremony of removing the garter has slightly lewd connotations; it used to be considered a symbolic consummation of the marriage. It was also considered good luck to take an article of the bride's clothing. Slightly cheeky. These days, the grooms throw the garter to their single male friends, which is a similar concept to the tossing of the bouquet. While many couples choose to include the tradition as a light-hearted part of the wedding, it isn't unusual to leave it out if you'd rather. If you're a stickler for tradition but don't want anything X-rated, why not give it a funny spin and hide a clothes line with old-fashioned pants where the garter should be - it'd be sure to get a few giggles!
6. THE TRADITIONAL PHOTOS
Flick through a few different wedding albums from the '80s and you could be forgiven for thinking it was the same one. Photography has always been an important part of getting married, but times have moved on from the 'now one with the in-laws' style that used to be widespread. While it's a good way to ensure everyone is snapped, the results can look forced and unnatural. Reportage style photography has become much more mainstream, where the photographer blends into the wedding party and photographs natural, 'in the moment' shots. This is a great option for photo-phobic guests as they won't even know it's happening. Or, for a happy medium, you could combine reportage style with a limited amount of formal shots, thereby limiting the amount of time you spend posing for pictures. Always a win.
7. THE RECEIVING LINE
A receiving line allows the couple to officially welcome each of their guests and thank them for attending. Lots of newly-weds eschew this tradition, as it can be a bit too formal for a small, intimate wedding of the sort where it is possible to mingle with each guest more naturally. However, for those with an invite list longer than Will and Kate's, some form of receiving line would be beneficial. That way, nobody goes unnoticed. For a modern twist (and to keep things moving), the bride and groom could serve the guests their post-ceremony cocktails.
8. THE WEDDING CAKE
In medieval England, cakes, scones and biscuits were piled high on a table, which the bride and groom had to reach over to kiss one other. If the kiss was successful and the cake stayed in place, they were guaranteed a happily ever after. Slightly awkward for couples who knocked a jammy dodger on the floor then! As for the white iced fruit cake that is the wedding cake we know today, you can thank Queen Victoria for yet another wedding tradition. It was at her marriage to Prince Albert that the big, sugary white cake became en vogue. But why, you wonder, would anyone in their right mind want to remove such a delicious part of the day? Small budgets, food intolerances and yes, even taste preferences could all mean the boot for a traditional wedding cake. These days, anything goes. Cupcakes are a popular and easy-to-serve choice, but don't be limited to cake. From a cookie buffet to Italian cannoli, from a French croquembouche to a macaroon tower, the right sweet treat for your wedding is out there.
9. THE GIFT REGISTRY
For couples getting married and moving in together for the first time, a gift registry is a practical way to fill the home with much-needed necessities. However, for those who have been co-habiting for years, the last thing they need is another toaster or throw cushion, no matter how well intended. In such instances, honeymoon, deposit or charity registries are a common solution, allowing guests to ensure their gift is of real use to the couple. It can also be less awkward than straight up asking for money, which is a subject many newly-weds stress about.
10. THE BRIDESMAIDS
Nowadays bridesmaids are a wedding mainstay, helping with everything from emotional wobbles to lipstick touch-ups. But the real reason for their presence, according to Roman Law, is to ward off evil spirits. Bridesmaids used to wear identical clothing to the bride in a bid to confuse these evil spiritsover who was actually getting wed. Phew, crisis averted! Bridesmaids have remained a tradition, despite this strange superstition being put to bed around the Victorian era. While a gaggle of familiar female pals are a priceless asset for many brides, others, perhaps having a more minimal wedding with a seriously limited guest list, choose to skip this stage. But what about brides with friends of the male persuasion? Simple: bridesmen!
So there you have it: ten wedding traditions you can choose to include, forget or update. The most important thing is that your wedding reflects the two of you, so don't feel limited by tradition just for the sake of it. After all, rules are made to be broken. And we're sure your Great Aunt Lydia will get over you walking down the aisle with Rover. One day.
TRADITION OMISSION
We asked our readers whether they'll be embracing or rejecting the classic wedding traditions on their big day. Here are their thoughts...
"Embracing! I love all the traditions! The only thing we aren't having that's the norm is a top table." Charlotte Rance
"Rejecting! It's about me and my man becoming husband and wife, not all the silly traditions. It's our day and we'll do it our way. Our day is going to reflect us 100%!" Tammy Effiom
"We decided not to have a best man." Gemma Roberts
"We embraced some traditions and rejected others to make it 'our own'. No one gave me away and both my husband and I made a speech. I wore my wedding dress and the men wore their suits to jump in the sea with umbrellas on a scorching hot day! Loved it!" Annie Cocuzzi
"Rejecting! We're going on a Mediterranean cruise for 14 days! Wedding, sunshine and a holiday all in one." Suzannah-Maria Scott
"We are going for a bit of both. We'll have some traditions but with our own twist like having a best woman instead of man. And definitely no receiving line!" Clare Hobson
"I do love some of the old traditions - I am currently look for my 'something blue' - but one of the main things we are are not doing is having any suits at our wedding. We feel that men always look uncomfortable in suits, and they're always dark, whereas us girls tend to wear nice bright dresses! We're even allowing jeans (but smart ones!)" Ellie Downes
words Abby Driver
Copyright Wed magazine 2014
