"The very essence of romance is uncertainty," declared Oscar Wilde. Romance is butterfly nerves to love's warm glow; a rollercoaster ride to love's mellow country drive.
But where do we learn how to ride this rollercoaster? Who tells us that romance requires roses, chocolates and off-your-feet-sweeping?
The protagonists in our childhood stories swash-buckle, adventure and career across the page in pursuit or flight from dastardly villains: romance doesn't feature. Happily ever after means beating the baddies or acquiring a mega-awesome super power.
For most of us, our first conception of romance comes from cinema. It's here we learn the vagaries of the verb 'to woo' and probably first witness a kiss that's not between our - bleurgh - parents.
And, if my viewing habits of the mid '80s are anything to go by, then it's probably a diet dictated by Disney which assumes responsibility for our idea of romance.
Weddings seemed - in some cases literally - transformative: Ariel and her legs! Aladdin as a prince! The characters' lives pivoted on the moment: not only did names change, but somehow also identities, futures and worlds did too.
The power of the cinema wedding to heal and transform remains in our psyche into adulthood: of all the plotlines' potential denouements, it's not the kiss, but the wedding - or promise of it - which draws out the audiences' collective tears most effectively, earning the film's enduring place in our cultural capital.
'Four Weddings and a Funeral', 'Muriel's Wedding', 'Mamma Mia!', 'My Best Friend's Wedding'...
Given its power to make even the toughest nut go a bit gooey, it's no wonder that the rom-com is the go-to first date genre of choice. We're telepathically screaming at our potential mate: "Is this you? Can you do this for me?"
The potency of the desire for cinematic romance is evident in two new films released this summer. '50 Kisses' - released in June 2014 - aims to be a multicultural and global reflection of pop culture's vision of love in the 21st century...and is the world's first crowd generated feature film. Audiences wanted to see this film so badly that they made it themselves.
At Doc/Fest - a Sheffield-based documentary film festival - the movie kiss was celebrated with another kiss-fest film, 'Love is All'. Billed as 'the celluloid story of love and courtship since the birth of the movie camera', this visual montage of kisses is directed by Kim Longinotto and set to a stunning Richard Hawley soundtrack.
Unsurprisingly given this catalogue of our enduring love of cinematic romance, many couples' lessons in wedding planning, dress design, speech delivery, first dance inspiration and disaster avoidance are actually informed by the celluloid world and its stars.
Probably the best speech advice you can give your best man is to watch Richard Curtis' British classic, 'Four Weddings and a Funeral'. Taking notes on the tone, duration and emotional honesty of Hugh Grant's best man speech, compare and contrast with his friend's latter disaster.
It is a pre-wedding must-see, not only for this and other humorously honest advice on dress style, bridesmaids and table plans, but also for one of the best proposals of all time: "Do you think not being married to me might maybe be something you could consider doing for the rest of your life?" asks Charles. "I do," replies Carrie.
As style and the silver screen go hand-in-hand, you don't even need a 'wedding film' to get Hollywood style inspiration for your own red-carpet moment.
In her perfect-for-honeymoon wardrobe, which combines ethereal feminine dresses with gamine, off-duty androgyny (loafers, tailored ankle-grazers and boxy jackets), Audrey Hepburn's fashion legacy is unquestionable.
Always the trendsetter, the dress she wore in 1957's 'Funny Face' - sleek bateau neckline juxtaposed with frothy satin tulle - actually began the fashion for tea-length wedding dresses and marked the pinnacle of her collaboration with Givenchy. Equally as stylish, but in no way similar, the chic short white dress she wore to marry Andrew Dotti reminds us to take risks and to be individual when choosing a wedding dress.
But of course, your wedding outfit doesn't have to actually be a dress. At Ellen DeGeneres' wedding to Portia de Rossi in 2008, both wore Zac Posen: DeGeneres' soft white tailoring contrasting beautifully with de Rossi's princess-like backless gown.
Sarah Jessica Parker - who married Matthew Broderick in a surprise wedding in 1997 - chose to switch up the colour, choosing a Morgane Le Fay black wedding dress for her nuptials... although she has said she now regrets this break from tradition.
Grace Kelly sits at the opposite end of the style scale: traditional, opulent and elegant. Her wedding dress - and screen panache in general - earned her a place not only amongst Hollywood royalty, but actual blue bloods.
The 1956 comedy musical, 'High Society', in which she starred alongside Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra, is the epitome of mid-twentieth century style and fashion. Set prior to her wedding day, Grace's character faces the choice of marrying for security or love. Her outfits are divine, the humour irreverent and the film a must-see for a bride seeking inspiration for a vintage look.
Grace's influence on wedding style doesn't stop there. The MGM superstar met Prince Rainier III of Monaco during the Cannes Film Festival in 1955 and within a year swapped Hollywood glamour for regal responsibility by marrying him.
In an iconic ceremony, Kelly's stunningly demure - yet gorgeously form-fitting - lace gown is a timeless piece designed by Helen Rose who, of course, also designed Kelly's costumes for High Society. Check out Grace's story - and a version of the gown - in the new Grace Kelly biopic, 'Grace of Monaco', in which she is played by Nicole Kidman.
Whilst Marilyn Monroe's fashion sense may not be her most commonly lauded attribute, she was more than a dame in a dress. She married her second husband, baseball player Joe DiMaggio, in 1954. For the simple ceremony she eschewed a traditional gown, opting instead for a fur collared brown wool suit.
She was described in a local press account of the time as 'the girl of his and many other men's dreams...'
Although the marriage barely lasted nine months, DiMaggio never remarried. As well as arranging her funeral following her death in 1962, numerous accounts state that he had half a dozen red roses placed at her crypt, three times a week, for the next 20 years.
If there's one thing we can learn from this poignant act, it's that romance doesn't have to exist solely in movies. We can take inspiration from Hollywood and its stars, but true romance comes not from someone else's idea of it...
A couple's own personal interpretations of love, affection and their own unique storyline - their acknowledgement of their leading roles as characters in their own love story - should mark not only their wedding, but the rest of their lives as romantic.
words Rebecca Ritson
Copyright Wed magazine 2014
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