With a ‘to do’ list the size of your ever-increasing budget, it’s definitely time to delegate. But who should do what? Here is WED’s guide to sharing responsibility without losing control of your day.



You have announced the wedding, the initial round of drinks, congratulations and teary reminiscences are over and the real nitty-gritty of nuptial organisation is upon you. Everyone wants to help. You haven’t even set the date, but you’ve already had a chorus of “I don’t want to interfere, it’s your day, but have you considered…?” Needless to say, it’s getting awkward. You don’t know what you want, but you don’t want someone else choosing it for you, and you definitely don’t want to offend. Here are our top tips to keep everyone happy and you at the helm!

The Cake – a crummy decision
As the focal point of your feast, it’s important to have a cake you both love. It should be lip-lickingly lovely. Certain female family members (usually the matriarchs) will be two steps ahead of you… the weighing scales will be out, the well-worn pages of a familiar cookbook will be turned and the fruit will be stewed. Naturally you’ll want a traditional cake. Or will you? Given the expense of a multi-tiered, iced, decorated creation, generations of women have rallied round to source ingredients, compare recipes and produce something that deserves its place as centre-piece for the wedding breakfast. This was no mean feat during War and the years of rationing that followed – so ladies, we salute you.

But times have changed. A world of variety awaits a choosy couple and why shouldn’t you look around? To save your future mother-in-laws and grandmother-in-laws from feeling redundant, deal with this issue early. Many local cake companies, such as Clare’s Cakes www.clarescakes.co.uk, offer tasting sessions so invite your well-meaning relatives to come along. As this is only your first tasting, no major decisions need to be made, but all the significant people will feel included, which is the important thing. That said, nothing could be more personal and unique than a family favourite. Mums and grannies pitching in to make something special for you is a thing to be celebrated, so if it suits you, accept this tasty tribute and enjoy.



Decoration – who has the flower power?
It’s likely that flowers are on your mind already, but nothing can be decided until the dress is chosen. This choice is so personal for the bride that no one can really expect to have too much input, but that’s not to say some people won’t try. You may base your decision on the meaning of each flower (orchid for ‘beauty’, tulip for ‘love’ etc) or you may want to bring together your colour scheme with an exciting, seasonal arrangement. Whatever you decide, don’t forget that the florist’s knowledge is invaluable, but you also have family members that have seen every wedding day triumph and disaster – and may just be the second-opinion you need.

As for the hands-on bit, don’t do, delegate instead. You’ve chosen the bouquet, garland or corsage, but this doesn’t mean that you need to be the one delivering and arranging all the other flowers. If you’ve chosen to sort the arrangements yourself, remember you have aunties, cousins, sisters-to-be ready and able to help. Use them! As long as you give them plenty of notice, you can put your trust in other people. On the day, nobody will know if the table arrangements are not exactly as you had in mind, but everyone will notice a stressed out bride, who has spent the first precious hours of her day winding wire around wilting stems, and swearing inwardly at the church warden.

Button holes
As far as trends go, they’ve been in and out more times than a shitzu in a Hilton’s handbag. There’s no denying that they can look great adorning the groom’s party, assuming they have been properly positioned… which leads on to the crux of the issue: who should hand them out? For maximum freshness they should be refrigerated until the very hour of the wedding, then handed out at the door of the venue. All too often however, they are left with the best man, who has plenty of other important duties besides fiddling with another man’s outfit. Not to suggest that men aren’t reliable (of course not, how very dare you?), but perhaps there is another candidate: mother of the groom. While the mother of the bride is performing some last-minute primping to the bridal gown, the groom’s mum can enjoy a little boy time, handing out and fixing button holes to her son and his friends. After all, she has been dressing him for years. Cue the wise words…



Long-distance travellers – juggling the journeys
There’s always someone in the wedding party who knows every back road and short cut in Kernow, the one who insists on driving through Praze-an-Beeble because “the A30 is for tourists”. This is your man (or woman). With guests flying in to Newquay and Land’s End, probably only hours before the wedding, you’ll need someone without too many duties, someone who can plan this pick up with military precision, someone who will refer to it by code-name as he flexes his fingers in his driving gloves. You get the gist. As soon as you know people will be arriving at certain times, hand over the responsibility to the person you know will enjoy it – maybe even let him delegate (as long as you are not in his squadron). If nothing else, Auntie Marion will get to see the sights as she hares through the scenic route, clutching her seatbelt.

There are too many little jobs and responsibilities to list, but we at WED hope this has given you a few pointers for letting go of the time-consuming errands and keeping control of the big decisions. Family feuds are definitely to be avoided, so read through your ‘to do’ list and start pencilling in some people to take the strain. Remember: they are only offering because they want to be involved, and unless you’re Wonderwoman, you might want to consider taking them up on it. Even Batman had a sidekick…

words Charity Wilson
Illustrations Zoe Elissa-George www.zeg-design.co.uk

Copyright WED Magazine 2010