Planning Your Wedding

Things To Do Before Getting Married

Things To Do Before Getting Married

The Pre-Wedding Bucket List

Take heed of these relationship must-dos in the run-up to tying the knot and sail into married life with ease



Upon getting engaged, most of us jump straight into the fun wedding planning stuff: trying on dresses and tasting cakes (who doesn't love meringues and meringues?). And while this is clearly an intrinsic part of planning a wedding, you also need to take a breather and reflect on what's to come in terms of your relationship. Getting married is a lifelong commitment and one everyone should go into with eyes wide open. To help you do just that, we've compiled six suggestions for your pre-wedding bucket list.

Pre Wedding Relationship Advice3
Nick Walker

1. Fight fairly

This might sound like an ominous start, but fighting fairly - or having constructive disagreements - is vital in a relationship. Disagreements are bound to pop up from time to time so you need to be able to handle them maturely, resolve them and move on. Getting into an argument with your partner is never fun, but it can be constructive and can even make your relationship stronger. However, if one or both of you can't have a disagreement without screaming, wailing or sulking, it's time to learn the basics.

One essential component to fighting fair is the art of apologising: you should both know how to say sorry and mean it. Holding your hands up and admitting you are in the wrong shows you are capable of considering the other person's point of view and changing your mind. That said, it's not ideal if it's the same person always apologising and relenting on everything. You should both still be able to stand by your view and not always give up on the things that are most important to you, which is where the art of compromise comes in - it's not always black and white so learn to offer and consider alternative solutions that perhaps meet in the middle. And remember to pick your battles wisely. After all, does the toilet seat really matter in the greater scheme of things?

Pre Wedding Relationship Advice1
Nick Walker

2. See the world

This could be a worldwide travel adventure or a simple summer holiday; the important thing is that the two of you have organised and executed something together successfully. The benefits of this are twofold: first off it shows you can plan and work as team; secondly, it's a great chance to spend some quality time together. Most couples live together before getting married, but if you don't, a holiday is a good road test: travelling can be incredibly romantic - sunset beach walks, long lingering dinners - or it can be a stressful ordeal of extra baggage charges and missed connections. It can also help you decide on the sort of honeymoon you both want: are you happy to lie in the sun and read the latest Richard and Judy recommendations, or does the thought of a day on a sun lounger make you want to base jump off the nearest cliff?

Pre Wedding Relationship Advice5

3. Meet the parents
Chances are, if you're engaged, you've probably Met The Parents. But if not, now is definitely the time. Take it easy and we're sure it will go better for you than it does for Ben Stiller (aka Gaylord 'Greg' Focker) in the film. You don't need to become best friends, but it's likely that your families will become a big part of your life, so getting on is in everyone's interests. Perhaps go out for a few drinks together or organise a dinner party and shake off that layer of formality. If you already know each other's families, this is a good chance to develop and strengthen the relationship, because whether you love 'em or hate 'em, once you're married they're there to stay! So use this time to iron out any awkwardness or differences, and embrace the in-laws as they are.

Pre Wedding Relationship Advice2
Nick Walker

4. Make money matter

Have you talked through your finances with your significant other yet? Granted, nobody actually enjoys doing this, but it's a necessary evil and worth doing at least once to make sure you're on the same page moneywise. If one of you is a spender and the other a saver, you might need to make a few compromises along the way, as these two approaches may signify different attitudes to your life. The spender likely lives for today and follows the YOLO ('you only live once') mantra, whereas the saver probably thinks more long-term. So save any future financial crashes and number crunch now.

Pre Wedding Relationship Advice4

5. Be a social butterfly

Getting married doesn't mean giving up your individuality - it's still important to maintain your own life and for many of us that means spending time with our friends. Whether you enjoy a wild night out on the town or a quiet catch-up over a pizza and a pinot, it's important not to lose touch with your besties. As well as spending time with your own pals, it's important to spend time with his too: you'll learn loads by watching them with their respective gangs, as well as gain a whole new circle of friends. Plus, you might get an easier ride when the time comes for the best man's speech!

Pre Wedding Relationship Advice6

6. Embrace warts and all

You love your partner very much, that's why you're getting married. But nobody is perfect and never putting the loo roll in the holder, or always forgetting to replace the bin bags is testament to that. But it's worth bearing in mind that people don't really change unless they decide to. The way he soaks the floor when he has a shower, spits his toothpaste on the side of the sink and sings the wrong lyrics to your favourite songs? That's probably not going to stop.

So, the answer to these pre-wedding niggles? Like a comforting hug after a hard day at work, just relax, enjoy and embrace it. Good luck!

words Abby Driver

Copyright Wed magazine 2016


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