Planning Your Wedding

Social Media and Weddings

Social Media and Weddings

The etiquette of social media at weddings

Will you be embracing social media on your wedding day? Wed explores the hottest etiquette debate in wedding world...



Will you be embracing social media on your wedding day? Wed explores the hottest etiquette debate in wedding world...

Social Media And Weddings2
Alan Law

Sharing information and images from our daily lives has increasingly become par for the course. From what we ate for breakfast to who we're dating and everything in between, nothing remains sacred in the current world of social media, so it comes as no surprise that it has crept its way into weddings too.

Tying the knot now without the accompanying hashtag would almost feel like you've forgotten to sign the register... plus, it's also a pretty handy way of seeing every inch of your day without having to experience it firsthand - bonus!

But while there are definite perks to Instagramming your nuptials from beginning to end, we can't help but wonder if it also detracts from the intimacy that should be present at such a personal event. With many high profile couples now putting a blanket ban on any type of digital interaction during their special day, will we now see the general public following suit, as they clamber to retain some privacy amidst this unflinching age of over-sharing?

It's a double-edged sword, and one to carefully consider before saying 'yay' or 'nay' to status updates. After all, imposing such rigid rules could also diminish the fun factor, especially now that most people have an iPhone permanently attached to their hand. Either we accept it as the new norm or confiscate the offending item, should you really be concerned about that messy cake-eating shot, à la Catherine Zeta Jones, appearing on your latest Facebook feed... although something tells me you won't be taking cousin James for all he's worth should it happen to appear online. Yes, there may be something crass about sending out a tweet several seconds after saying 'I do', and yet you can't deny that group selfies capture a certain part of the day that would otherwise be lost - and policing everyone's social media output doesn't exactly feel like the perfect way to set that party tone.

Whether you regard it as an unnecessary invasion, or are a self-confessed social networking addict yourself, giving some freedom to your guests is probably the best balance you can feasibly strike. The control freaks amongst us will be fully aware that keeping tabs on exactly what is being shared and by whom is emphatically the way forward - hence the benefits of an official hashtag (put it on your invite or wedding webpage) that can be traced back to each offender (see, there's always method in our social media madness!). It's easy to feel like you're relinquishing some of the reigns but, then again, isn't that what weddings are all about? Unless you're Kim Kardashian, of course, and then your primary concern is damage control, as the tabloids clamber to tear every one of your bridal decisions to shreds. Withholding information definitely has its drawbacks.

Akin to leaving a disposable camera on the table (and let's face it, a heck of a lot cheaper to develop), phone photos and Facebooking are like the modern day equivalent to keeping a scrapbook - only instead of taking months to collate, you can enjoy perusing the day after. On the flip side, and with online videos like Vine becoming more popular, your mum dancing could be immortalised for all to see in the mere seconds it takes to upload... now that's definitely something we don't want to see on a loop.

Social Media And Weddings1
Ashley Hampson

Realistically speaking though, there's no one solution to this social media vortex in which we are currently living, so it might just be a case of 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em'. By embracing all the positive points it has to offer (there are memories galore at your fingertips) then you could be enhancing a day that is guaranteed to be over all too quick. What better way to extend the wedding shenanigans than by scouring everyone's tweets the next day and reliving the best bits all over again? It's also a terrific device in breaking down any would-be barriers between guests, as it gives a collective sense of camaraderie... what can we say, hashtagging will do that to people.

As guests, though, we do harbour some responsibility in ensuring those unspoken social media etiquette boundaries are not completely overstepped - flirty aunts and awkward speeches are not moments to tweet about, even if we find them hilarious ourselves. Be (reasonably) sensible and sensitive when it comes to unflattering photos of the bride... speaking from experience, those wide angle arm shots are something that still smarts even today thanks to tagging and all its 'wish it would just go away' glory. It's a bit of a fine art knowing what to share publically and what to retain for private viewing so, if in doubt, don't upload.

With all that said, social media, and how you choose to use it, is a very personal decision that everyone attending should respect. It may be a case of asking your guests to hold off on the sharing until you have digested the enormity of the day for yourself. Or perhaps take a leaf out of Dawn O'Porter's book (and self-confessed Twitter-fiend herself) who divulged nothing other than a carefully selected snapshot of herself and husband Chris O'Dowd weeks after the nuptials actually took place... and all this despite being hounded by hundreds of Instagram followers who were nearly busting a gut to see the dress, kiss and possibly even more. Resisting the urge to reveal everything can be difficult but not without its benefits, and ensures that at least some part of your existence is not up for grabs. Even for the most fervent of Facebookers, keeping your wedding on the down-low may be the new way to set yourself apart from the hoards of other couples who continue to document every eventuality, engagement included.

All that's really left for you to ponder then is whether or not you're a social media bride too... answers on a status update please.

words Aine Carlin

Copyright Wed magazine 2014



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