Grooms in Cornwall and Devon

---

Wedding Wardrobe Woes

---

Wedding wardrobe catastrophes? Nathan Midgley knows all about them. And he's about to add another contingency plan to your to-do list.

---

---

Wedding wardrobe catastrophes? Nathan Midgley knows all about them. And he's about to add another contingency plan to your to-do list...



There's an exact point when people waiting in baggage reclaim slide from impatience into fear. You can see it happen. Initially there's a jokey camaraderie - tuts, eye-rolls, shared stories about airport nightmares - but as the crowd falls below ten people or so it starts to cool.

Once the crowd's below five, nobody cares about anybody else: their attention's fixed on that little window with the freaky rubber fronds. Everyone in the room would be able to take The Four Cases Left On The Belt as their specialist subject on 'Mastermind', nailing questions on size, shape and material without a pause. But what they really want is an all-new, very familiar-looking fifth case, and as time goes on it becomes clear that it isn't going to happen.

Now fear becomes panic. People go mobile, rushing around the hall to peer into perfectly ridiculous corners - because yeah, maybe the case came off the belt and went behind the vending machine - before finally sinking into despair and trudging to the complaints desk.

I know this process intimately, because I went through it myself the other week. Other Half and I were in Stockholm for the wedding of two fabulously successful and well-turned-out friends, and we were waiting for two bags: the little one with a few bits and pieces in, and The Big One, which contained our outfits and all OH's make-up. Everything, basically. Guess which one never came.

After a few hours' drinking debating and some advice from hotel staff ("H&M. They are cheap and they are everywhere"), we decided to abandon hope and head for the shops. This proved interesting. Have you ever bought make-up in Stockholm? Hell, have you ever bought anything there? It's like one of those monkeys trained to steal your wallet, except much better looking and made of bricks. By evening I was several hundred quid worse off, and still facing a night with my best-dressed mates in an H&M special. And an inappropriately sombre one at that, because the only non-black option had bright white plastic buttons that said oh god and no and get it away from me.

Everything turned out fine, of course, even if I faced a couple of jokes about being someone's bodyguard. But I did make a resolution. OH and I are going to plan for this. On our info packs there'll be a section for wardrobe emergencies - a number for the nearest suit hire places, dry cleaners and seamstresses. And the best man is going to be tasked with assembling a bank of essential bits and pieces. Forgot your tie? Lost your cufflinks? Spilt tea on your pocket square? Don't panic: we've got you covered. They're only cheapo H&M versions, but hey - at least you didn't have to pay Stockholm prices.

Copyright Wed magazine 2014