Planning Your Wedding

Children At Weddings

Children At Weddings

Wed's guide to child-friendly weddings

Ensure your little guests enjoy your wedding day as much as your big guests with Wed's guide to a child-friendly wedding...



Ensure your little guests enjoy your wedding day as much as your big guests with Wed's guide to a child-friendly wedding...

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The ceremony, the speeches, the chitchat over champagne and canapes - these might be the elements of an oh-so exciting day for adults, but, for a seven-year-old, a wedding is a long, interminable bore.


The question of whether to invite children at all is one you'll encounter early in your planning. It's an issue that tends to polarise opinion, so that when planning whether and how to include them in your wedding, you can't help but feel that whatever choice you make, you're doomed to inadvertently offend someone.

Think carefully about whether to opt for a 'no children' policy - which will allow parents to enjoy some quality adult-only time away from the kids - or an all-embracing guest list, regardless of age - which negates the issue of your guests finding childcare and the risk of not being able to attend, particularly for parents of babies and younger children.

According to Shelly Stammers from The Wedding Cr�che Devon (weddingcrechedevon.co.uk), there are a series of key questions to be considered that will help you to figure out your own standpoint on this issue. "Will we offend people if we don't invite the children? Will the children cry and make noise during the service and the speeches? Will parents not be able to attend or have to leave early?" she asks. "If there's only a few children involved, you could get away with some of the adults taking it in turn, or hiring some entertainment."

However, as divisive a decision as it is, the main thing (as with all aspects of weddings) is to ensure it is entirely your choice. Have as much conviction as you can muster, make the appropriate announcements and move on with making the affair as child-friendly as possible by remembering the simple equation that happy children = happy parents = happy wedding.

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Remember that appropriateness is key. If you're expecting a bevy of darlings, then arrangements to accommodate them must be made in order to avoid temper tantrums, emotional meltdowns, hyperactivity and general chaos (*and that's just the adults, right?)

Follow our experts' top tips on how to successfully include, handle and entertain children at weddings...

Safety first
A full risk assessment of all venues and itinerary with regards to child safety is paramount. For example, if you're hosting a cliff-top marquee, mitigate and make parents aware of the potentially hazardous or dangerous nature of the location for wandering kids.

"Wedding venues are often large, exciting and have lots of places to explore and hide," says Shelly. "I'd recommend that all parents buy an identity tag (https://amzn.to/1mTgByJ) just in-case they go off exploring without anyone noticing."

Ask parents to appoint a designated (and sober) guardian or group of carers, or better yet - hire some professionally to eliminate the stress altogether. Create your own cr�che at the wedding, at a nearby location or at the parents' home so that all parties can relax in their own sound surrounds.

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And remember, as well as safety proofing the venue and ascribing responsibility, the best way for a plain-sailing child-friendly event is to keep them so happy and busy that they won't want or need to escape or play up.

Keep kids occupied

"Unfortunately, children often get bored quickly and then can become noisy and restless," explains Shelly. "Create an area that can capture their attention and keep them entertained by providing resources and equipment suitable for their ages."

Getting crafty is a good place to start. "Why not create an arts and crafts room, which is particularly brilliant for younger children?" advises Tracy from Blue Fizz Events (bluefizzevents.co.uk). "Set up a colouring contest, supply beads for necklaces they can take home and decorate paper hearts to then display at the reception."

The craftiness can even cleverly be in keeping with the seasonality or theme of the wedding to extend the overall look and atmosphere. "For summer weddings, why not ask the little ones to decorate jam jars? You could fill them later with tea lights and display in the garden," suggests Tracy. "Or for a winter wedding, they could decorate baubles as a take-home treat, or decorate their very own cupcake - just add icing, sprinkles and a little imagination."

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Think time and space
Beyond a good belly fill and the occasional sweet treat, the best way to a child's heart is to actively engage them. But keep it venue and time-of-year appropriate. Sending them outside for a woodland walk in winter, for example, may not prove the most crowd-pleasing mode of entertainment.

"The South West offers many perfect locations for a chic beach wedding," says Tracy. "Take hampers full of colourful buckets, spades and nets to the beach. Allow the younger children to make sandcastles and have a sandcastle competition while the older ones can go rock pooling and see who can catch the most crabs or shrimps (under full adult supervision, of course)."

"If you have chosen an informal setting for your wedding like a farm or barn (where there is lots of outdoor space), be sure to provide picnic style lunches for the younger ones," recommends Tracy. 

A little competition usually goes down a treat. "After lunch, set up races with an adult to oversee proceedings. Stage an old-fashioned three-legged race, hopping race or egg-and-spoon race. Make sure you have medals for the winners and treats for all the participants for guaranteed fun," she suggests.

You might even capture their imaginations with a special quest. "Entertain the children by putting together a themed treasure hunt during your drinks reception or a fabulous egg hunt. Check with the venue beforehand that they would be happy to allow this. Children will have fun for hours and this is a great cost effective way of burning off lots of energy!" she adds.

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Bags of fun
Whatever type of wedding you're planning, one of the simplest and most effective ways to satisfy kids is to give them their own bespoke activity pack.

Perfect for all events and venues, whether an intimate and informal party or extended affair, a bag of tricks is a surefire kiddie-pleasing solution. "Activity packs are perfect to keep little ones absorbed and busy," says Tracy. "Make sure the contents are not noisy and don't require any (or little) adult supervision and contain no small items which can be a choking hazard."

"Also, bear in mind any restrictions the venue may have in place regarding products," she adds. "Throw in things like colouring books, pencils, crayons, bubbles, finger puppets, sticker books and Play-Doh."

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Be aware of the noise
Weddings come with a certain raucousness, whether from the kids or adults - so consider the sensibilities of both. Older guests can become exhausted by the antics of children as much as the kids can be hot-tempered by the band's bass, so consider separating sitting areas and seating plans for both groups.

"We all love a good party, but all too often the noise levels can be high enough to cause discomfort or even damage to little ones' ears. Little ear defenders are just the ticket (https://amzn.to/1mTGLRV)" says Shelly.

Have a quiet area for them to relax
As the party kicks off for the adults, it paradoxically becomes wind down time for the kids, so consider the space and timings for all your guests' needs and ages.

A quiet room or tent can allow both children and adults some vital R&R away from the main action. "Provide a snug area with beanbags, blankets, low lighting and maybe even movies. This should hopefully stop them falling asleep on (or under) chairs and tables," says Shelly.

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Professional help is available
"If there are more than ten children attending or you just want peace of mind that the children are being entertained and supervised, I'd highly recommend investing in a professional cr�che", says Shelly.

The Wedding Cr�che Devon is a fully resourced cr�che offering crafts, games, toys, puppet theatre, face painting, parachute games, music and movement, role play, marble run, bubbles, den making, Duplo, dolls and much more. They also provide a special 'snooze lounge' for the evening reception.

All staff are highly qualified in childcare, DBS checked and at least one per cr�che is First Aid qualified, making them a fun and safe bet to ensure kids - and adults - are allowed the best wedding experience possible.

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AN INVITING PROSPECT
We asked our readers their thoughts on inviting children to weddings. Here's the verdict...

"As a full-time nanny, my life revolves around children, and I wanted the fun and enjoyment I experience in my job to be reflected in our special day. We went to great efforts to make sure both the children and the parents would be able to fully enjoy themselves. Each child had a 'child-friendly' afternoon tea, with chocolate muffins, cupcakes and cookies. I created personalised goodies bags, which were jam-packed with fun activities to keep them distracted, the most popular being a balloon-making kit. The adults enjoyed making balloon hats and animals as much as the children! We also hired a giant Connect Four game, vintage wooden horses and other games. This was a great distraction for parents with young children and provided hours of entertainment." Alice Bedford

"We had children at our wedding and they made the day even better. We gave them cameras and goody bags and they loved dancing! Some of the best photos were those that the children took." Katie Chambers

"We're only having our own children at our wedding. We're restricted by numbers, which made the decision easier." Claire Jones Baptiste

"Yes, we have two children and quite a few little nieces, nephews and cousins so couldn't have imagined a wedding with no children. A third of our day guests are children." Sophie Jane Brown

"We're only inviting our nephews and niece. We've put a polite note in the invitations." Jo Davie

"We had children at our wedding, as I feel marriage signifies family. Luckily they were all impeccable!" Emily Hayden

"We feel that family and children are what it's all about so there will be lots at our wedding." Lucy Panteney

"We had about 30 children at our wedding and it was fabulous. A huge bouncy castle for the day kept them happy for the whole event and the parents were all relaxed too. And of course you get the best dance moves from them as well!" Traci Parsons

"A third of our guests are children! We couldn't imagine not having children there as I come from such a big family. We have planned lots of treats and games for them." Vicki Louise Wyles

"I find a lot of our clients want the children there often because without them the parents would not attend as we mainly care for younger children or the other scenario is that clients are worried the children will get fed up which is where we come in and then continue to provide babysitting in the evening so that the big guests can have fun whilst the little guests sleep!" Caring for Children in their own home

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Photography Jo Clement, Enchanted Brides
Location Flambards
Models Keynvor Clement Evans, Kevin Callaby, Niamh Judge
Make-up Natasha Flower Make-Up Artist
Hair Kerry Prynn Hairdressing
Assistant Kathy Judge
Flowers Loulabel Floral Design
Props Box and Cox Vintage Hire and Fanny and Fox Art Gallery  
Suits Mondo Trasho Vintage

words Hannah May
photography Jo Clement, Enchanted Brides


Copyright Wed magazine 2014


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